The Rice Experiment And Your Body

I decided to give the rice experiment a go.














I made some rice, put the same amount in two identical jars, then put them in two similar side by side bedrooms in my basement.

To the positive one I gave it compliments. I mostly called it "PRETTY" and "BEAUTIFUL." Though  I also threw in a 'good', 'nice', and 'love you' every once in a while.

To the negative one I said mean things. Mostly I called it "FAT" and "UGLY." I also threw in an 'I hate you' every now and then.

After just one week a mouldy spot formed on the negative one. The positive one stayed nice, white and mould free. I continued doing it probably 5 times a week for a month and sporadically for another month. The same results continued; the negative one got mouldy and the positive one stayed nice and white. See for yourself:

 

So what does this have to do with our bodies?

EVERYTHING.

If saying mean or nice things to a jar of measly cooked rice proved negative and positive looking results, how much more true could it be to a living breathing being?

Lets say nice things to ourselves in that mirror and watch those physical flaws and emotional scars fade, shall we?



Heaven's slice is loving your body.

The Body-After-Baby Lie

"Childbearing ruins your body"

This is a common well believed lie and it effects so many, even me. Days, weeks, sometimes months after the precious moment that you get to hold your new infant, it hits you - your body isn't the way you remember it prior to being pregnant. Why not? The baby's out now, what gives? Oh ya, because childbearing makes your body a flabby, droopy, ugly mess. Let us all bash those dark embedded belly scars, the disgustingly stretched skin and excess fat. After all, it's just a pregnant thing all of us as women have to go through right?

WRONG! So wrong. For so many reasons:

#1 The words disgusting, ugly, flabby, fat etc. do not and cannot apply to a body that has grown a human life. A HUMAN LIFE. It has housed, nourished, guarded, protected, and covered the most helpless, defenceless, and precious of all beings for 9 months straight. How could that ever be considered ugly? If there was an institution that had been able to accomplish this task, no one would ever walk by the building calling it ugly, least especially it's owner. It would be celebrated, using correct terms like 'glorious' and 'wonderful' to give it an adjective.

#2 To bare a child is a gift not every woman gets in this life. Think for a minute, just one solid minute, what it would be like to know that you could never bear a child. Put yourself in those shoes as a bystander of a conversation involving a mother pushing her tiny babes in the stroller talking on the phone about how fat and ugly she is from having these infants, the laughing speech of a body she now hates. You would be holding back tears - bitter, devastating, angry, broken, silent tears. There would be pleas with God on how you would never criticize a childbearing body if you could just be given the chance to have a baby of your own. There holds the knowledge of what the body-after-baby truly is, behind the eyes of a mother who can't bare one. (ps - adoption is a magnificent thing!) 

#3 The world is listening. Ever wonder why some women don't want to have children? Why some choose to abort? They listen. They listen to you, to me, to all of us that have given birth and how we speak about our bodies. The turmoil we go through, the unsightly scars they leave behind, the irreversible "ugly" we see ourselves to be now. They listen to the lies we speak instead of the truth we hold in our arms. They are listening, are we speaking the truth? Because the truth is that having a body-after-baby is the most dazzling, magnificent, divine, and BEAUTIFUL thing we have. 

Even if our baby was given to another mother, or did not survive due to an unforeseen circumstance, having a body that bore life is among, if not thee most miraculous things, period (sorry men). It is noble and it is good. It is so good. Do we realize it? I know I need to. 

Society has ruined the most sacred, exquisite thing a body can do by spreading false rumours on it's ugliness and it must be stopped with the truth.

A body-after-baby changes so much 1week, 3mo, 1 year, even 2 years postpartum. But honestly, with having such a profoundly influential scar on my heart from birthing miracles, I think I'd feel a little ripped if I didn't at least have some sort of physical mark to show for it.

Heaven's slice is knowing how incomparably beautiful a body-after-baby is.

Beautiful Bodies part V (5) - THE STEPS

Here are the steps I've found most helpful to go through to regain your insight into how beautiful you are. I say regain because, yes! At some point in your life you knew this; watch any baby fluttering their hands in front of their eyes or toddler staring at themselves in a mirror with huge smiles on their faces - they know.


STEP #1 Find your Motive.
This is your why to the journey you are about to embark. It is the #1 step and the most vital. Anyone can do anything, good or bad, as long as they have a strong enough reason for why they are doing it. This isn't the "so I can feel comfortable in a bikini" "so I can fit into that dress"  reasoning; it can't be superficial. It's got to be deep, it's got to be personal, it has to be important. Here are a few examples:

So that I can set the example for my daughter to love herself.
So that I can be more in control of my thoughts and better dictate my own happiness.
To recover from an eating disorder that's taken control of me.
To help safeguard myself against depression spirals.
etc.

STEP #2 Become self-conscious about the way you speak about yourself.
First you must become aware of your vocal words you speak about yourself. Recognize every time you say something negative about yourself to others. Get uncomfortable with it, feel the guilt, and then... apologize to yourself, forgive yourself, and start cutting those negative words out of your social vocabulary. Your thoughts will magically start to follow suit. It'll take a great deal more self-discipline to kick the negative thoughts out, but it will be so much easier once your vocal words are no longer bullying you.

STEP #3 Find gratitude for your body.
You have a body, whatever piece of it is missing or you think needs to be missed, whatever your individual circumstance, you can always find gratitude in your body. If you have legs that can walk, if you have sight, if you can speak on your own command, or if you have birthed children, you have MUCH to be grateful for. Find your reasons to be thankful and fixate on them. Think about them often, vocally give sincere gratitude for them.

STEP #4 Protect and enjoy yourself.
Finally after you've gone through steps #1-3 successfully you can start bringing in some more external practices that'll help protect your improved self-worth:
Avoid hearing as much negative body talk that you can. Be around those who are secure and humble enough to love themselves. Erase/throw out/untag any photos of yourself that you detest. Keep those around and visible the photos you love. Relish being in your new found perspective by enjoying being you! Take your beautiful body for a sightseeing hike, paint your toes, eat food that not only tastes but makes you feel good, sew a quilt, paint, go try on clothes, plant a big ol' kiss on someone, play a sport etc.... just enjoy all that you can with the body you have.



Heaven's slice is knowing YOU'RE GORGEOUS!

Beautiful Bodies Part IV (4)

The crusade continues! But this time you'll probably need a gallon of sugar or a salt block because it lacks a lot of tactfulness - choose whichever your taste buds prefer :)

My main plea is for something so wickedly common, socially acceptable and unbelievably popular to just STOP.


The non-compliment compliment.
Too many of us do this, and it's lame sauce.
"Your hair's so shiny and thick! Mine is so scraggly and dull."
"Your so thin, I wish I was as thin as you."
"If only I had long skinny legs like you."
"You're teeth are so perfect. Mine are so crooked and yellow."
"I wish I could sing like you can, I'm an awful singer."

...

When someone says these type of non-compliment compliments to me, I am so clueless as to how I should respond. Compliments usually warrant a thank you, graciously accepting the kind words, but for some reason I feel immense guilt if I do that. It's so weird that we disguise a personal torment as a kind word to someone, but yet it happens (dare I exaggerate) ALL THE STINKING TIME with us woman. We need to recognize how to give an actual compliment, because these type of phrases are soooo not compliments. Compliments are supposed to uplift and encourage, not put forth a forceful pity on oneself; it's supposed to be selfless not selfish.


Side rant questionnaire - What are we supposed to say?
I'm literally asking, because I have no idea. If someone constantly brings up how fat they are or some other horrible word or adjective of unattractiveness over and over to us every time we talk to them, what are we supposed to say? You tell them 'no you're not' or 'no you don't' and try to bring up every positive gorgeous thing about them just shy of reciting a personalized sonnet... and yet it's NEVER to any avail, and they continue their rant further. I applaud men; to actually continue the compliments even though they literally fall on deaf ears every time is pretty noble.


The bully in all of us.
Most all of us wouldn't dare focus our conversations amongst each other around the bashing of others' physical flaws we see. I think most all of us would agree that that's bullying, and who isn't against that? Yet we continually vocalize such harsh cruel words about someone so casually in our conversations. Just because it's our own words against our own bodies doesn't make it any less serious or harmful, let's not kid ourselves - it's BULLYING. Heckling ourselves in public is kind of what's been taught by every generation of women as far back as we can hear. Heck our Great-grandmothers still do it! (If I'm 80 and complaining about my weight please punch me in the face) Our short-comings, our body design flaws, our talentless energies - all a totally strongly-encouraged acceptable way to socialize. Once someone starts, it then ripples forth to all the others to start talking about what they find ugly about themselves... and at last you're the lone one everyone's looking at like 'aren't you gonna say something?' and you just awkwardly fumble out "I have really bad breath in the morning." Yep, straight from the movie Mean Girls ;). Because that's what we've become when we do this - we're mean girls; We're bullying someone and encouraging all of whom are in the sound of our voice to also bully someone.


You're not just hurting you.
A couple years back I decided to no longer vocalize hurtful things about myself to others and became very self-conscious about what I said. My inner-voice of course still has it's harmful moments, but ever since I kicked out the actual spoken words, it too has seemed to silence itself for the most part. Since becoming so aware of this and trying hard not to talk hate on myself, I've run into something interestingly sad - I've noticed when others bash themselves to me that it stirs up an intense urge to start bashing on myself too. Even post conversation my mind is spinning with horrible thoughts of ugliness towards my body image. This all because someone else started to vocally bully themselves. I don't think we realize the harmful effects we have on other woman and even worse, on young girls when we start saying such mean things about ourselves.


Fear of being conceded.
May be one of the reasons this has been such a hard war to fight is because we have such fears of being viewed as conceded or vain. This doesn't make any sense though, because what we're trying to be seen as is humble ultimately, and humility is NOT an ugly thing. In fact it's one of the most beautiful things one can obtain; It's knowing you're magnificent and giving gratitude and praise to whom created it. It's silently knowing how glorious you are, no longer needing the public validation of this nor having to share it socially.


Motivation.
I feel like my generation has a responsibility to change the way we as woman see ourselves. The war on our bodies has gone too far and I want to carry the littlest generation out of this miserable depression. This is why I'm trying so hard to change myself - it's not for me, it's for them.

So just stop vocally bashing yourself - easy peasy (ish). Stay tuned for a later post to help ya out with this if you so desire to also join in on the crusade ;)

Pretty sure I've laid the guilt on overly-thick here, but that's the best I can do due to lack of editing time and brain mushiness. Sorry it wasn't warm and fuzzy, but this might help.



Heaven's slice is knowing you're beautiful.

Beautiful Bodies Part III (3)

I was going to title this "I am really really really ridiculously good-looking," but I thought it was a little too wordy (Can you tell I recently watched Zoolander?). Actually the title is what it is because I've already talked about this in my Beautiful Bodies Part II post, but I wanted to talk about it some more.






I'm still so amazed at how high my physical self-image gets once I'm preggers. It's like all my clothes magically look fantastic on me I don't even need to change 2-6 times before heading out the door anymore. As I look in my tall body-length mirror I can't help but stare at myself because of how good I look. I take a look at myself multiple times a day in that mirror, just to see if I'm still as hot as I was the last time I looked... and I ALWAYS am!! I mean what's up with this sudden surge of finding my bod so gorgeous I have to stare at it like some shiny new object I've recently acquired?

Most women (from what I can gather) do NOT feel this way when they're pregnant at all, so what's the matter with me? Are my pregnancy hormones messing with my eyesight doing a photoshop overload? Has my brain devised this illusion to stop me from changing wardrobes because it would exert too much energy that would be better used for baby forming? Did my husband give me too many appearance type compliments over the past 6+ years that they've somehow been adopted as my own thoughts via preggo-brain? Have my pre-natal vitamins been laced with something? ...

All joking aside, honestly this is what I've come to realize: I am the most grateful for my body when I'm pregnant. My self-image has been pretty healthy over the past some odd years, but when I'm pregnant it is truly when I appreciate my body the very most. I know not every woman can get this blessing of carrying a babe. Even though my pregnancies aren't a walk in the park and I do complain from time to time, deep down I am consumed with gratitude to have such a blessing growing in me. I learned long ago that gratitude and happiness are one in the same; You can never be truly grateful without being happy and you can never be truly happy without being grateful. Because of this happiness I gain from being in this blessed state, my inward joy can't help but spill towards my feelings on my outer body shell. There are no more blemishes, no more flaws, no more uglies; just pure beauty is seen.

(Bam!)

Seing yourself as beautiful, hot, gorgeous, or what have you really truly does start from within as a gratitude of one's body. You can pound pavement, lift those weights, get your hair did, do some crunches, nails manicured, make-up done to perfection, scream 'Zumba!' at the top of your lungs... but you'll never find yourself pretty until lunges of gratitude are put into your regular workout routine.

 

Heaven's slice is being barefoot and pregnant.

2015 Goals

This photo has been brought to you in part by: my love of Jimmy Fallon.

I LOVE New Years! The biggest reason why though is the goals. I love looking at my 'time capsuled' goals of last year and coming up with new ones. It's fresh starts and new you's; the possibilities are endless and the hope is on high gear!

Since my goals, I feel, are super personal I'm keeping them private....BUT here are 2 things that will NEVER (wow that sounds really permanent) make it into my list of goals:

1. Weight - I'll admit in years past this was on my list in my teenagerdom of self-esteem struggles, but I've changed a lot since then. Even within the past year it seems I've changed even more drastically (may be it's called maturing??). I've become SUPER passionate about advocating heightened self-esteem and self-image in people, especially youth (yes having a daughter also played a HUGE role in this). How can I go about promoting that kids, especially girls, feel that they are beautiful who they are right now if I don't even think that of myself? So, I've been implementing things in myself to promote my own self-esteem, self-image, and overall self love. A large majority of negativity on one's self stems from body issues. Therefore, weight is now on the total outs of my vocabulary, actions, and even mind. There will be no goals regarding weight ever again in my New Years resolutions. No number on a scale is going to determine how happy I can be, nor do I believe it can for anyone really.

2. Size - Same thing, different unit of measure. 

I am all for being as healthy as you can be, but weight and size are not part of this. The number on that scale and the number on that dress's tag is not going to tell you your health. It won't tell you that your food choices that day were very nourishing to your body; Nor will it tell you what sort of strength your body has right now. Eating what makes your body feel good, full, energetic, nourished etc. and moving your body in ways that give you strength, energy, flexibility, and stamina are really the only realistic health goals one can have. Weight and size aren't part of it. Health is about making your body "feel" a certain way not about making your body "look" a certain way. It's a sharpening of one's mind and will give you the positive image you've always wanted; you'll have never looked more gorgeous!

So there it is folks, my 2 "NEVER going on my list of new years goals" goals. Feel free to adopt this way of thinking :) But... you don't HAVE to... ;)

Heaven's slice is a new year.

Beautfiul Bodies PART II

My personal 'beautiful body' story.

I've got to be honest here - Pregnancy ruined my self-image. My body went through so many drastic changes over the course of my pregnancy and is still seemingly a forever changing thing. This whirlwind of body transformations ruined my self-image... and  replaced it with an even better one.

This is where my beautiful body image really started. I say 'really' because I've had sparks of experiences throughout my life where I've loved my body and saw it as beautiful, but sparks are not really a flame. My pregnancy with our first child really forced all the sparks into the flame it is today. My mind shifted from seeing all that was negative, gross, uncomfortable, awkward, and worrisome to see what was in fact a miracle. This miracle subtly and yet forcibly gave me the deepest of gratitudes for my body. I saw myself as beautiful because I started to finally understand what I should have remembered all along - my body is a gift from my Heavenly Father, so it is and always was beautiful.  My rise to a better self-image is not at the bonfire stages for me, but the flame's been yet to be extinguished over the past 2 years thus far, so I'm counting that as a win.

Perhaps one of the biggest scams of this world is this idea implanted within that we must find as many flaws in our body's appearance as possible. The ironic thing behind this scam is that it was conjured up by someone whose never had nor ever will have a body of their own. This person is so envious of this mortal body that he wants everyone with this precious bodily gift and experience to be as unhappy as he is. You may have guessed who it is, but just to be clear - it's Satan's scam. Even as I type this post a part of me wants to somehow incorporate that I am far far from having the perfect body... which I guess I just did... DANG YOU!

My journey to self-esteem has been a roller-coaster ride, but I believe the major drops are long behind me. I feel my body is beautiful because it is deeply rooted on the foundation that it is a gift from my loving Heavenly Father and a means by which to get back to him.

There are however some personal trivial practices that I engage in to protect myself from the adversary's attempts to shake my confidence:

Food: I've taken a personal interest in my own diet in what makes my body feel normal instead of relaying to me that death is near. Taking control of my diet over the past couple years has reinforced a love for my body instead of a hatred. I found what works with my body and it's made a world of difference. It's my own personal opinion that not every person can nor should have the exact same foods or food type of intake. Just as people have a love and hate for different tastes our bodies do well with certain foods that may cause adverse effects in others. I really dislike when people tell me what I should or should not be eating - it kinda grinds my gears - so I try to tip toe away from those conversations as best I can. I will say hypocritically however, that eating every few hours has really taken away most all and any guilt issues with food, which is amaze balls for self esteem. (and yes it also boosts your metabolism blah blah blah...).

Exercise: I personally hate feeling like I'm exercising for looks - as in trying to sculpt a better-looking body. It just makes me feel bad, like I'm telling myself, "you ugly." (I'm aware I overthink things a lot... I'm working on it.). So, really I only do "active" things for 4 reasons - fun, solidarity, strength, or an energy boost.

Weight: I try not to weigh myself much, it just doesn't matter, really it doesn't. Even if I hit a super low weight, if I continue to monitor it then that now becomes my new normal and I feel like I now have to be lower every time, which is just straight up dumb. I try hard to never divulge my weight or size, as to me there's never a good enough reason to do this other than if a healthcare professional asks. When someone states their weight frequently in conversation I feel like they just whipped out a name tag sticker, wrote their weight on it and smacked it onto their shirt. It CLEARLY says "Hello, my name is:" Very odd thing for a non-illiterate person to do...You are not a number!

Photos: Seeing a bad photo of myself where it doesn't match how pretty I thought I looked kinda ruins my day. So... I take a lot of photos and delete any I don't like right away. I also try to put up photos I love and think I look good in inside my home (and probably online too...).

Make-up and Mirrors: Back when I was around 13 it was relayed to me once that a pageant-type head figure would make herself look as beautiful as she could in the morning primping in front of the mirror, and then she'd forget about herself for the rest of the day and focus on others. That notion really struck me because I feel a lot of time can be wasted amongst other people while I wonder how I'm looking and thereby paying little attention to the needs of those around me. So, I've implemented this in my life - I play with my hair, makeup, and clothes (which is actually kinda a fun part of my day) in front of the mirror till I feel pretty oh so pretty then I forget how I'm looking for the rest of the day. I may look like a train hit me by the end, but in my head I look exactly how I last saw myself. Also, if I have in fact been hit by a train I avoid mirrors like the plague.

Alone time: I am an introvert anyways so may be this one is just me, but I honestly feel most secure and beautiful when I'm alone to myself or with the hansome hubs and darling daughter. I'm not sure why, but I require a lot of this time alone to be able to gain enough stamina for it to last around others. It's like filling my self-esteem tank up. Being alone is where I can view the big picture more clearly and not get caught up in all of life's details.

So there you go, a positive little self-esteem/self image talk from yours truly... and I didn't even have to post a nude photo! (if you're confused - read my BEAUTIFUL BODIES rant).



Heaven's Slice is seeing your body as beautiful.

Beautiful Bodies

I was unsure how to tackle this post as I feel like there's potentially a mega majority that won't agree with it - which is totally fine as we're all entitled to our opinions... Just please know I never intended on offending anyone, this is just my personal view on something really important.

I'm a little perplexed. (Thank you dictionary for making me seem smarter than I am. - If you read that in a Jimmy Fallon voice you're cool like me.)

The media's high trending topic it seems is to redefine beauty as to whatever body you're in and loving it - which I DEEPLY agree with. I'm perplexed though at the way they are attempting to achieve this: naked or nearly naked photos of women or women walking about scantly dressed in highly public sighted areas.

Why do you have to publicly show your entire body to the world to show you have a love for it? And how does this really help the self-esteem cause in any way? This makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.

Having a positive increase in your self-image is deeply personal and individual (hence the SELF).

When I see or listen to certain headlines they entice me that there is a feel good universal self-esteem booster coming my way... And then all I see is naked images... Um, thanks?...These images are a super let down to me.  I don't care if you're a super model size -1 or hometown hero size 37; exposing what is publicly meant to be covered has nothing to do with increasing your self esteem in your self-image. When I have a really good day where I feel most beautiful in my own skin the thought never crosses my mind to display almost every square inch of me to the public. When I'm insecure however, thoughts do come where I feel the pressure of 'the flaunt.' Feeling good about how your body looks and your feelings towards it has nothing to do with anyone except yourself; So why are the media heads that be force-feeding images of women in their undies to promote self-esteem? There is now naked images of a variety of different shapes of people becoming more prevalent in the media, which is supposedly an attempt to promote a love for one's own body... but seeing these images has never made me feel more secure about myself AT ALL.

Props to media for trying, but the fault was never that only seemingly perfectly slender, busty girls made it onto all the covers of magazines; it was the seemingly nude images themselves that were always the problem.  

Hopefully this get resolved soon as I'm sick of the let down's. Bodies are beautiful and bodies are sacred. Bodies were never meant to be advertised for all to see in order to show that they had worth. I would get more out of the commercials and web links if they would just show women dressed in their every-day get up relaying their own personal stories on how they increased their self-esteem, regained their self-worth, and saw the beauty in their own body. I'm willing to guarantee none of them would say, "I gained it when I posed nearly naked for photos to be plastered on the internet." So, until this starts becoming the way the trending topic is relayed you can stay tuned for my personal 'Beautiful Bodies Part II' story.

Beauty is not something that is flaunted, it is silently just known.


Heaven's slice is modesty.

Beauty is based on numbers

I realize I am totally contradicting my statement on the Why we can't be friends post where I said that basing beauty off of numbers is absurd... But I really thought about it and I came to realize that YES, beauty is based on numbers.

It's the # of lbs on that scale, # of inches your waist is, # of inches your hips are, # of inches your thighs are, # of inches your arms are, your cup size's #(letter), your face symmetry's scoring #, your dress size #, your shoe size #,  # of pimples, # of freckles, # of birth marks, # of physical handicaps...   It's the # of times a day you flashed your pearly whites or yellows in a smile to someone. It's the # of times your hands came together in cheering for someone else's accomplishment. It's the # of songs your voice sang just for others sheer enjoyment. It's the # of tears your eyes shed in mourning for another's loss. It's the # of times your hands played peek-a-boo with a baby. It's the # of times your knees hit the floor in sincere prayer. It's the # of compliments that came out of your mouth. It's the # of times your arms folded around someone right when they needed it. It's the # of times you said the phrases 'thank you', 'I love you,' and 'I'm sorry' whole-heartedly. It's the # of talents you gained for another's benefit. It's the # of times you got back up after falling down. It's the # of steps your feet took. It's the # of times your heart skipped a beat over a tender mercy revealed. It's the # of meals your hands prepared lovingly for your family. It's the # of good books you read. It's the # of times your eyebrows raised in excitement over a surprise. It's the # of times you forgave someone's trespass. It's the # of times you felt true joy, peace, and hope. It's the # of laughs your your whole body felt. It's the # of late nights caring for someone who was sick. It's the # of times your eyes saw the artistry in each day. It's the # of times your nose smelt something that made you smile. It's the # of times you rocked a little one to sleep. It's the # of hours you spent at work so your family could have their needs provided for. It's the # of times your brain brought up a sweet memory from the archives. It's the # of people you have served selflessly .

Little does the world know that we as man do not have a measuring tape or scientific calculator strong enough to calculate beauty, nor a camera mighty enough to capture it. However, our Heavenly Father does and it's based on the simple things we tend to overlook on any given day. Beauty cannot be seen with the naked eye, only felt by the open heart.

Our body houses our spirit, we are all children of God. Knowing this, we should of course take proper care and attention to our bodies. BUT we all need to remember that whatever the condition of such body, every body has beauty, as every body houses a spirit which is a creation of our Heavenly Father. Everything that He has created is beautiful and divine.

Heaven's slice is knowing what beauty is.

Why we can't be friends

I'm pretty passionate about this topic, especially after having a daughter. I want her to continue to be amazed at the beautiful body she has and how smart and evolving her mind is. If this is what I desire of her I know I must gain and keep knowledge of this for myself.
____________________________________________________________
(insert mirror)

Why we can't be friends:

We can't be friends because the popular magazines say we didn't make the cut for the top 20 most beautiful women in the world.
We can't be friends because the internet keeps popping up with ads that say a certain weight or size is where happiness is.
We can't be friends because we don't look near as good in those jeans as the girl on the poster.
We can't be friends because we don't know how to wear our makeup like that photo on pinterest clearly pointed out to us.
We can't be friends because every media outlet states we should look this certain way, act this certain way, have these certain things and we just don't.
We can't be friends because the standings showed us as coming in last.
We can't be friends because of past junior high school experiences where people told us we weren't pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough to make it in this world.
We can't be friends because our role models be it family, friends, co-workers, or acquaintances aren't friends with themselves, and you don't want to be left out in not feel the same way.
We can't be friends because our mothers showed us not to be, as her mother showed her, and hers before that.
...
Actually, I'm covering up to the truth... the real reason we can't be friends is you. I really don't care what other people have to say about us, I only care what you think of me. You are the reason we can't be friends: You call me a failure when you know I tried my best that time. You judge my beauty based numbers, which FYI is not only absurd, but impossible. You keep bringing up my mistakes of the past over and over when you know how truly sorry and regretful I am of them. You hardly ever let me go do what I'm truly passionate about because you're scared of what others might think or say. You're constantly comparing me to all these other women who aren't even us. AND you call me really mean names be it slob, lazy, fat, stupid, ugly etc. not only in private, but in front of other people!

If we're going to make this work you need learn to treat me the way you need to be treated.
_____________________________________________________________


I know my daughter is still just a baby, but I can just tell how glorious she sees herself through those big bright eyes. She knows how magnificent she is. How I want so much for her to keep that knowledge. So, as her mother I'm learning that for myself: how magnificent I am.

For me, studying more of Christ's life and words of the prophets have really soothed my self-inflicted wounds and has in turn given me the space I needed mentally to move forward. Learning how important I am to my heavenly father has enabled me to start internalizing His point of view. I've become a very dear friend to me. I'm learning to forgive myself, compliment myself, let myself do things I want to do, nourish myself with scripture study more routinely, and laugh with myself more. And through this journey you know what I've found? I'm becoming a better friend to those around me; I can forgive them more quickly, compliment them more freely, encourage them more in whatever their endeavours, and just be more mentally present for them (this most definitely includes those within my household). I've found that I'm loving my fellow man much more than I had in the past.

I'm so grateful that god sends down babies that can teach us about our worth. We need these reminders so much more than before in a world where it constantly tries to put us at war with ourselves. Let's be better friends to ourselves so we can help lift and strengthen those within our reach.

Heaven's slice is being a friend to yourself.