Challenge Accepted!

So recently the hubs and I had an interesting meal time together ...

It was decided that we'd have to sing anything we spoke and whoever messed up first (speaking without a tune) had to go to the gas station to get a slurpee. Now though I do kinda like going to get slurpees (as I've mentioned before), the thought of having to put on socks, AND shoes, AND a coat just didn't feel like something I wanted to do at the time (I'm a little lazy...); I was in it to win it! Which, may I add was NOT an easy thing considering there was a two year old standing on her chair not eating her supper that we had to sing sternly to 'pleeeeeease sit dooooown and eat your supperrrr.' How authoritative do you think we sounded to her? I was pretty impressed though, we made it an entire 15 minutes!

Guess who won?...
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I love how immature we are.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Heaven's slice is winning!

The Luckiest Kids

For Family Home Evening we recently went over this particular Ensign article below. Needless to say, I absolutely loved it! Definitely a must read, so click below and read it will ya?!!


Blessing Our Children by Improving Our Marriages - Lori Cluff Schade


"The quality of your marriage is influencing your children, whether you realize it or not. As you and your spouse work to improve your relationship, your children will be blessed." 
                                                                 - Lori Cluff Schade

I've always thought that children that know their mom and dad love each other were among the most luckiest kids ever, but this article truly drives the blessing it provides for the children to a hole in one! It also has a lot of great ideas on how to improve your marriage from whatever scale you think your marriage is at - Here they are below, but they explain them more in depth in the article... just read it K?!

• "Articulate and share what you want your marriage to look like in 5, 10, or 20 years. 
• Write down and share a positive memory in the marriage.
• Share a memory of a time that you were able to overcome a challenge together. 
• Create small but meaningful rituals for when you part and come together again. 
• Introduce an element of novelty into your dating. 
• Tell your children regularly what you admire about your spouse. 
• Actively seek uplifting marital improvement resources. 
• Ask each other regularly if you are more or less connected as a couple than before and discuss what you can to do bridge the gap. 
• Counsel with your bishop to access professional resources if necessary. 
• Pray. "            

        - Lori Cluff Schade

Pretty sure my kids are the luckiest kids. Not because we go galavanting all the time doing crazy fun things, not because they get all the candy they want when they want, not because they get every toy they have eyes for, not because they have no bedtime and can watch whatever they want (because none of that is true for one)... but because their parents are pretty smitten with each other.

(too steamy?)

I heart us :)

Heaven's slice is giving children the best life they can have.

Marriage Elephant

I feel like all marriages have some sort of elephant in the room no one wants to talk about: debt, resentment, infidelity, rejection... but if there's enough love and maturity in your marriage the elephant is literally just a gigantic pile of laundry.

Photo unavailable for comment. 

(as if I'd show you a photo of our mountain mess of clean clothes lol)

Heaven's slice is slurpees!

5 Questions For Your Marriage

Recently I read the talk given last general conference titled "We'll Ascend Together" by Linda K. Burton, and it had some key points I really wanted to share - In this talk she posed 5 questions that can test how often we intentionally speak kind words to each other:

 "

1. 1. 
   When was the last time I sincerely praised my companion, either alone or in the presence of our children?

1. 2. 
   When was the last time I thanked, expressed love for, or earnestly pleaded in faith for him or her in prayer?

1. 3. 
   When was the last time I stopped myself from saying something I knew could be hurtful?

1. 4. 
   When was the last time I apologized and humbly asked for forgiveness—without adding the words “but if only you had” or “but if only you hadn’t”?

1. 5. 
   When was the last time I chose to be happy rather than demanding to be “right”?

Now, if any of these questions lead you to squirm or feel a tinge of guilt, remember that Elder David A. Bednar has taught that “guilt is to our spirit what pain is to our body—a warning of danger and a protection from additional damage.”

"

(To read or view the whole talk click here or the title at the top of the page)



Heaven's slice is continually working on a healthy happy marriage.

We Be Trippin

Oh how I love celebrating our anniversary! We went on our annual anniversary trip a couple months early and it was soooo fun! I just love going on road trips, exploring new places, and eating out with my hubby.

This year we actually both wore sunglasses in a vehicle photo! 

(if you're confused read this post)

Then on our actual anniversary we did some fun stuff with our kids(!), cruised, and ate out like all day. It was pretty fantastic!

Heaven's slice is the billy minor pie at the keg, the new choc. chip and peanut butter cookie dough blizzard at DQ, and of course... my hubby.

Little Stuff

I love it when...

My husband and I drive together anywhere. No phones, no distractions, nothing but time for some good visits to catch our lives up in its' entirety.

My daughter rushes to 'set up camp' wherever I go. Her blanket, bottle, book, and shopping bag of toys gets toted into the kitchen, my bedroom, on the couch, her bedroom, the office, etc. on a daily basis. 

I get to have a good long hot shower. (except when I'm preggers it has to be a shorter one cause I will faint)

My busy toddler runs up and gives me an aggressive long hug to my legs.

I find little kissy lip prints on my bedroom mirror about 2-3 feet high.

Heaven's slice is in the little stuff.

Marriage

I know let's face it, my marriage is 5 years old; it's in kindergarten. But I'd like like to think that it's actually a pretty advanced kindergartener: it can already count to 30, do simple addition and subtraction with numbers 1 through 10, distinguish left from right, decipher where east, west, north and south are according to a compass, read and write 4 letter words, and spell it's own name...but yes a kindergartener that probably still enjoys eating the occasional booger... a hem, moving on.

This right here(to the left) is a big deal, a "5 years in the making" type of big deal. We're both stubborn, and secretly have desires to be the more stubborn one, though that desire waxes and waynes- but NOT when it comes to folding clothes. He has his own way of how he thinks clothes should be folded and though I don't really care on the matter, I do think he should not think that there is only 1 way, so I stubbornly have not folded his clothes. It's an agree to disagree type of argument, so it was mutually decided to always fold our own. The other day however I decided to trump him on the subject and folded his clothes... not only that, BUT folding them his way, which as I mentioned was the only way he would accept them into his drawers anyways.

This is marriage. It's full of specific stupidities that are intimate to each and every couple. The question on making a marriage GREAT though, lyes in the loving AND liking of each other as well as the "us" you created. At least this is what the 5 year old has figured out.

I kinda think this talk is one of thee best ones for marital advice. It's one of those reads that you can't help but highlight the entire thing cause it's that profoundly good. For blog purposes though I'll try to slim up the quotes, BUT just know that you MUST go read it in it's entirety to get the full capture of how amazing it is, and so true!!

To read or watch the talk Click here--> 'Marriage: Watch and Learn' by Elder L. Whitney Clayton

Quotes from Marriage:Watch and Learn by Elder L. Whitney Clayton:

"

I have observed that in the happiest marriages both the husband and wife consider their relationship to be a pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth. They both leave their fathers and mothers and set out together to build a marriage that will prosper for eternity. 

 Their mutual quest is to be obedient and good. 

Strengthening faith strengthens marriage. 

 faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the foundation of happy eternal marriages.

happy marriages rely on the gift of repentance. It is an essential element in every good marital relationship. 

Humility is selfless, not selfish. It doesn’t demand its own way or speak with moral superiority. Instead, humility answers softly  and listens kindly for understanding, not vindication. Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else, but with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart.  

 Humility means that both husbands and wives seek to bless, help, and lift each other, putting the other first in every decision. 

in wonderful, happy marriages, husbands and wives treat each other as equal partners. 

Husbands and wives in great marriages make decisions unanimously, with each of them acting as a full participant and entitled to an equal voice and vote. 

 There are no secrets about relevant matters in marriages based on mutual respect and transparency. 

Loyalty is a form of respect.

successful marriage partners are “fiercely loyal” to each other.  They keep their social media use fully worthy in every way. They permit themselves no secret Internet experiences. They freely share with each other their social network passwords. They do not look at the virtual profiles of anyone in any way that might betray the sacred trust of their spouse. They never do or say anything that approaches the appearance of impropriety, either virtually or physically. 

terrific marriages are completely respectful, transparent, and loyal.

Both the husband and wife “leave behind their single life and establish their marriage as [their] first priority. … They allow no other person or interest to have greater priority … than keeping the covenants they have made with God and each other.”

Marriage is a gift from God to us; the quality of our marriages is a gift from us to Him.     "

Heaven's slice is marriage.

Raindrops On Roses...

These are a few of my favourite things!

Sentimental Edition

For me the word "few" actually means 3-5, but really 3 is the number that always stands out when the word few is said. So, here are 3 of my favourite things. (note: that when adding "quite a" before the word few it actually turns equivalent to "a lot" for me.)

(THESE ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER OF FONDNESS)

#1 These cowboy boots

They've since retired from use due to the heels overlapping the back lip of the boot causing spurs to slide right off (they kind of look odd without the spurs on). I got them when I was about 14 years old. A father's surprise gift to his daughter. My Dad just came home one day from a rodeo and presented them to me. There was no special occasion that enforced it and I had no idea he was getting them. They came from a store - they were brand new! My first none-hand-me-down cowboy boots. They lasted me 10  wonderful years of roping, riding, and rodeoing (I think I even did a few barrel runs and bending of poles in these in the early days). They've seen everything from manure and mud to a wedding dress. They moulded onto my feet  through a decade of real hardships and true happinesses thereby making a home in my heart.

#2 This rocking chair

My mom used to rock me in this rocking chair when I didn't feel well, or just before bedtime. I remember the noise it made as it tipped forward and it just soothed me so well and made me feel safe and loved. It had sat unused in my parent's basement for quite sometime and I knew when I had my little one I just had to have it for her. It now sits in my little girls bedroom in the corner where she rocks and plays on it. And sometimes when she's sick or scared she'll snuggle into me as we rock. We've fixed the noise it made by adjusting where it sits, but every once in a while when I'm lucky, it slips back out and that same sound comes back when I tip forward as we rock. Also, the doily thinger on the back was on the tables at our wedding reception.

#3 That Table

It could be because it was one of my first pieces of furniture given to me when I graduated high school/moved out on my own. It could be because I redid the seat cover in a really darling paisley blue and brown fabric that I adore. It could be because we sit together for supper as a family almost every night to it and catch up on each other's day. But really, it's because the love of my life knelt down and asked me a very important question as I was sitting up to it. Yep, this was the table that started my very own forever. 

Heaven's slice is memories.

Anniversary Trip

The hubs and I have kept this little tradition since we've been married where it is the others' turn to plan Valentine's day and our Anniversary every other year. It eliminates the possible blame game over not celebrating the dates and well, it's just super fun! Every other year I get full control over where we're going and what we're doing, and then every other year I get to be totally surprised over what my hubs comes up with.

It can be made to be super extravagant or super frugal, but either way these are The rules for it:

Valentines day:
- 1 spouse plans what we're doing that day and surprises the other on the day of. (date may be supplemented on another date other than February 14th.)

Anniversary:
- 1 spouse plans it all and surprises the other on the day of departure (date may be supplemented on a different date/weekend as long as it's close to actual anniversary date).
- Must be a trip somewhere where an overnight stay is enabled for at least 1 night.
- Must tell no one else until surprised spouse gets told. (some exceptions may apply such as needed directions from another party prior to trip date). (I'm really the enforcer of this rule as I don't want everyone else to know before I get to know cause I'm selfish like that lol. Plus someone could spoil the surprise and spill the beans to the other spouse.)
- Must be only the two of you (exception - offspring at the discretion of the parent (mostly by me - the mommy))
- Must have some sort of itinerary of activities (may be either a loose or strict itinerary at the discretion of planning spouse)

Our anniversary has become like an annual honeymoon. It's been pretty well my favourite holiday since we started this little tradition. I sooo look forward to it every year!

 Year 0

 Year 1

 Year 2

 Year 3

 Year 4

Year 5

 0

 1

 2

3

 4 - only car shot taken

5

My husband and I don't believe in wearing sunglasses at the same time.

It's pretty awesome getting to set up your very own routines of fun things your family does to spend quality time together. Tons of memories are made to share and bond over with the excitement and anticipation for more. There's just some wonderful comfort that comes from things that go unchanged.



Heaven's slice is traditions.

June Bride

Once upon a time  

there was a beautiful young girl and studly young man who started dating. Both knew extremely early on that the other was the person they were to spend their forever with. Of course neither of them wanted to scare the other off by divulging this, but the studly young man(SYM) let it slip one day while shopping with the beautiful young girl(BYG) something along the lines of 'ya you should buy it, it's gonna end up in my house someday anyway.' The BYG acted as though she didn't hear correctly and later that night decided she should further investigate this under-breath comment SYM had made. She boldly asked "do you think we're gonna get married?" SYM confidently said, "yes" though shyly he then asked "do you think we'll get married?" BYG smiling said, "Ya!" The months to come were secretive wedding planning amongst themselves. BYG had 1 stipulation (+10 more) They had to get married in the month of June...

So, beautiful young girl and studly young man did in fact get sealed in the temple for time and all eternity in the month of June.

One of my favourite movies is Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. It's an old western musical and it's just darling! There's a song in it that has stuck with me ever since I was a little girl - June Bride

Here - Watch the Youtube clip of it!

For they say when you marry in June, you will always be a bride. 

-June Birde lyric

June Bride lyrics:

Oh they say when you marry in June

You're a bride all your life.

And the bridegroom who marries in June Gets a sweetheart for a wife.

Winter weddings can be gay Like a Christmas holiday.

But the June bride hears the song Of the spring that lasts all summer long.

By the light of the silvery moon Home you ride, side by side

With the echo of Mendelssohn's tune In your hearts as you ride

For they say when you marry in June, You will always be a bride. The day a maiden marries is a day she carries through the years

The Church is full of flowers, bridal showers all passé

The groom's waiting at the altar, here comes the bride,

They're each promising to love and obey.

There's madness celebrating

Every bridesmaid waiting Just to see which one of them will catch the wedding bouquet.

For they say when you marry in June,

You will always, always, always, be a bride.

In November, the snow starts to fly,

Piling up, ankle-high.

Come December, it's up to your knee,

Still a bride's a bride-to-be.

January, higher still,

To the parlor window sill.

February finds a drift
And the storm that seems never to lift.

March comes in like a lion, what else?
Still the snow never melts.

April showers will come, so they say.


But they don't, and it's May.

You're about to forget the whole thing,

All at once, one day, it's Spring.

(And lastly - my serious pose)

Heaven's slice is the month of June.

Just you wait

Disclaimer: Before I start this I'd like to first state that there are NO individuals that stand out whatsoever in regards to my experiences with this. This is more or less a cultural trait I wish to shed light on because I'd like love to see some changes :)

Our culture as a whole in general has seemed to have feasted upon this "Just you wait" conversation holder:

"Just you wait till you've been married a couple...10... 40 years" 

"Just you wait till you're in the last trimester...in labor...the baby comes out."

"Just you wait till they start crawling... teething... walking"

"Just you wait till they're 2, 3, 4...10...14...18 years old."

"Just you wait till you have 2, 3...10 children"

It seems as though people have this need to make sure others know how horrible the next phase is going to be, have or having not been through it themselves. After the "Just you wait" phrase always comes a negative know-it-all notation that in fact the stages ahead are going to be miserable. Your beaming glow from the stage you're in and the stage you're looking forward to seems to draw out the fun-suckers of this world.

From my own life:
The glow from being newly engaged drew out many sarcastic comments on marriage and married life from others. The glow from pregnancy drew out horrible rants from mothers and their terrifying birthing and pregnancy stories. The glow from being close to the due date drew out awful concerns of my excitement - 'For don't you know that this is the easy part? You should keep that thing in there as long as you can! Sleepless nights, blowouts, sore body parts, depression ... JUST YOU WAIT!!!!' The glow from this new bundle drew out the even more awful news that diapers will get much much worse, screams from teething will make you go insane. Baby will get into everything once they're mobile don't you know, they destroy everything including your married relationship! The glow from dreaming of them as they get older, their grade school years, and yes even those tender wonders on their teenage struggles and how I'll help them through... drew out the CRASH AND BURN awful-hood warnings of your children getting older and even more horrid.

I really feel like the "Just you wait" phrase is secretly a wishful curse of agony upon your future household. Is there any kind of benefit that these mentions are supposed to have? What did people want me to say in these situations? - "You're right! I'll back out now! Thank you kindly for sharing your great wisdom o wise elder."

News flash (that's right that cliche just happened) I'm not you, my spouse is not your spouse, our love story is not your love story, my pregnancy and child birth is not going to be yours, and I therefore most certainly won't have the children you have nor mother them just like you. Your "Just you wait" threats haven't held so far and I don't see them ever holding in the future. Sure, there may be some truth to what you're saying, BUT your attitude in which you describe these events is not true to my situation.

Yet still... there was a most courageous minority who dared stand alone and gave me such humble words of  alleviation and pure glee for what lye ahead that it tugged at my heart ever-so truthfully. The miracle of love that enfolds you with the start of an embark like marriage and child-rearing is something that the just-you-wait's have yet to understand.

My marriage and motherhood have not come without slivers, scars, bumps and bruises, yet how gloriously beneficial, beautiful, magical and miraculous this ride has been so far.





I've never fought, yelled, kissed, or laughed harder nor thought, smiled, stepped, or dreamed bigger than I have with this man.

I've never lost more sleep, appetite, time, lunch, or brains nor gained more knowledge, insight, kindness, worry, love, nobility, courage, strength, endurance, compassion, joy, charity, or gratitude due to this girl.

To my past self thwarted with the cursings of people's "Just you wait's" I say:

"Just you wait - It's about to get even better. Though, I know you already knew that anyways so I'll just leave you to it. P.S. you're very pretty ;) "

Heaven's slice is seeing the beauty in each phase of life - ours and our children's.

The questions we should no longer ask

• Why aren't you dating anyone?
• Why don't you have a girl/boyfriend?
• When are you getting married?
• Why aren't you married?
• When are you gonna have kids?
• Why don't you have any kids?
• When are you having your next kid?
• How many kids do you want to have?
• Were you trying when you got pregnant?
• Was it planned?
• How long did you try before you got pregnant?
• When are you gonna stop having kids?
• Why do you have so many kids?

I'm sure there are many more questions like this, but this is all I could come up with for now. I imagine there may be a lull when you are done having children and the youngest one is older. Though, I can can only assume that others will then start asking these same questions again, this time regarding your children and grandchildren.

Why can't I ask these questions? 
                                                                                                                                                  Perfect photo for this post hey?! Found in our engagement archives!

Reason's should be obvious, but I will explain a little anyways: Because not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve and parades their personal life and trials with ease. Some people, I feel a lot of people, like to keep things personal between themselves and heavenly father.

You don't know if the person you just asked 'why aren't you dating anyone?' has been dealing with tremendous heartbreak and hurt from past relationships or from having no relationship opportunities at all. Why would you bring that hurt up socially to them? You don't know that the couple that has been dating for years upon years just had a huge heart wrenching argument last night about marriage and you just brought that sore spot up by asking 'why aren't you married?' You don't know that he was planning on proposing within the hour and you just put a damper on it by asking 'when are you getting married?' You don't know who had their 9th miscarriage in a row having no child in their arms to show for it, and you just asked them 'when are you having kids?' 'why don't you have kids?' or 'how many kids do you want?' You don't know that a child was just around the corner, heartbroken when their parents answered 'it was an oops' jest-fully to your question 'was that kid planned?' You don't know that the never-ending number of kidlets walking through the door were fought hard for by their parents and are the absolute joy in their life, and yet you sneeringly asked them 'when are you gonna stop having kids?' You also don't know who is in the room with you suffering through these sort of things as you so casually gossip about someone else's such personal struggles. You don't know, and truly, you don't need to know. 

"When to have a child and how many children to have are private decisions to be made between a husband and wife and the Lord."     - Neil L. Anderson 'Children'   (great talk)

Some people are silent trial keepers who deserve the respect to not have to awkwardly fumble through giving a socially acceptable answer to a non-socially acceptable question. We need to be respecters of privacy.

I realize that most people that ask these questions don't mean any harm by them, but yet the harm is still accomplished. I myself have probably asked a few of these, but I now thankfully know better. Let us come up with other questions to ask people to get to know them and learn from them. Let us also, choose not to divulge another's trial so casually with others.


Heaven's slice is respecting privacy.