Beautiful Bodies Part IV (4)

The crusade continues! But this time you'll probably need a gallon of sugar or a salt block because it lacks a lot of tactfulness - choose whichever your taste buds prefer :)

My main plea is for something so wickedly common, socially acceptable and unbelievably popular to just STOP.


The non-compliment compliment.
Too many of us do this, and it's lame sauce.
"Your hair's so shiny and thick! Mine is so scraggly and dull."
"Your so thin, I wish I was as thin as you."
"If only I had long skinny legs like you."
"You're teeth are so perfect. Mine are so crooked and yellow."
"I wish I could sing like you can, I'm an awful singer."

...

When someone says these type of non-compliment compliments to me, I am so clueless as to how I should respond. Compliments usually warrant a thank you, graciously accepting the kind words, but for some reason I feel immense guilt if I do that. It's so weird that we disguise a personal torment as a kind word to someone, but yet it happens (dare I exaggerate) ALL THE STINKING TIME with us woman. We need to recognize how to give an actual compliment, because these type of phrases are soooo not compliments. Compliments are supposed to uplift and encourage, not put forth a forceful pity on oneself; it's supposed to be selfless not selfish.


Side rant questionnaire - What are we supposed to say?
I'm literally asking, because I have no idea. If someone constantly brings up how fat they are or some other horrible word or adjective of unattractiveness over and over to us every time we talk to them, what are we supposed to say? You tell them 'no you're not' or 'no you don't' and try to bring up every positive gorgeous thing about them just shy of reciting a personalized sonnet... and yet it's NEVER to any avail, and they continue their rant further. I applaud men; to actually continue the compliments even though they literally fall on deaf ears every time is pretty noble.


The bully in all of us.
Most all of us wouldn't dare focus our conversations amongst each other around the bashing of others' physical flaws we see. I think most all of us would agree that that's bullying, and who isn't against that? Yet we continually vocalize such harsh cruel words about someone so casually in our conversations. Just because it's our own words against our own bodies doesn't make it any less serious or harmful, let's not kid ourselves - it's BULLYING. Heckling ourselves in public is kind of what's been taught by every generation of women as far back as we can hear. Heck our Great-grandmothers still do it! (If I'm 80 and complaining about my weight please punch me in the face) Our short-comings, our body design flaws, our talentless energies - all a totally strongly-encouraged acceptable way to socialize. Once someone starts, it then ripples forth to all the others to start talking about what they find ugly about themselves... and at last you're the lone one everyone's looking at like 'aren't you gonna say something?' and you just awkwardly fumble out "I have really bad breath in the morning." Yep, straight from the movie Mean Girls ;). Because that's what we've become when we do this - we're mean girls; We're bullying someone and encouraging all of whom are in the sound of our voice to also bully someone.


You're not just hurting you.
A couple years back I decided to no longer vocalize hurtful things about myself to others and became very self-conscious about what I said. My inner-voice of course still has it's harmful moments, but ever since I kicked out the actual spoken words, it too has seemed to silence itself for the most part. Since becoming so aware of this and trying hard not to talk hate on myself, I've run into something interestingly sad - I've noticed when others bash themselves to me that it stirs up an intense urge to start bashing on myself too. Even post conversation my mind is spinning with horrible thoughts of ugliness towards my body image. This all because someone else started to vocally bully themselves. I don't think we realize the harmful effects we have on other woman and even worse, on young girls when we start saying such mean things about ourselves.


Fear of being conceded.
May be one of the reasons this has been such a hard war to fight is because we have such fears of being viewed as conceded or vain. This doesn't make any sense though, because what we're trying to be seen as is humble ultimately, and humility is NOT an ugly thing. In fact it's one of the most beautiful things one can obtain; It's knowing you're magnificent and giving gratitude and praise to whom created it. It's silently knowing how glorious you are, no longer needing the public validation of this nor having to share it socially.


Motivation.
I feel like my generation has a responsibility to change the way we as woman see ourselves. The war on our bodies has gone too far and I want to carry the littlest generation out of this miserable depression. This is why I'm trying so hard to change myself - it's not for me, it's for them.

So just stop vocally bashing yourself - easy peasy (ish). Stay tuned for a later post to help ya out with this if you so desire to also join in on the crusade ;)

Pretty sure I've laid the guilt on overly-thick here, but that's the best I can do due to lack of editing time and brain mushiness. Sorry it wasn't warm and fuzzy, but this might help.



Heaven's slice is knowing you're beautiful.

Our Heart's Condition

Last week we had General Conference. This talk was in the Priesthood session and as I read it, I just LOVED all the insight it gave. Here are a few of my favourite words from it.
You can listen or read the whole talk by Clicking here - On Being Genuine by Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf

 "  if Jesus Christ were to sit down with us and ask for an accounting of our stewardship, I am not sure He would focus much on programs and statistics. What the Savior would want to know is the condition of our heart. He would want to know how we love and minister to those in our care, how we show our love to our spouse and family, and how we lighten their daily load. And the Savior would want to know how you and I grow closer to Him and to our Heavenly Father.  "
...

"  The Church is not an automobile showroom—a place to put ourselves on display so that others can admire our spirituality, capacity, or prosperity. It is more like a service center, where vehicles in need of repair come for maintenance and rehabilitation.

And are we not, all of us, in need of repair, maintenance, and rehabilitation?

We come to church not to hide our problems but to heal them.  "

...

"  Remember, brethren, “God resist[s] the proud, but give[s] grace unto the humble.”^{14    "}

Heaven's slice is sincerely getting to know 'the condition of our heart.'

He Lives

As fun (and delicious) as mini-eggs are, and as cute and cuddly as bunnies and chicks are... The true reason of Easter is of course remembering Christ's atonement - His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemene, His crucifixion, and His glorious resurrection.


He Lives Video (click)
(It's short, and AWESOME)

For me,

The most joyous feeling one can have is that of comfort and peace.
The Saviour makes this feeling possible in the deepest most all-incompassing way. What brings me the most comfort in life is just knowing that someone understands me, completely. No one is the same, and regardless of whether or not individuals encounter the exact same physical moment, no one  will ever walk out feeling the exact same way. People can offer sympathy, but I believe that only Christ can offer the true empathy that is needed to gain comfort. There have been dark times when even I don't understand the problems or feelings that are being circulated through me, but as I've reached out to my Saviour I have felt the healing balm of His reassurance that He knows and He understands exactly what I'm going through. Through comfort I can gain that peace I need to calm my troubled heart.

The most terrifying awful feeling one can have is guilt.
The Saviour soothes this pain by offering His atonement, so that through true repentance you can release your guilt and move forward clean again.

The most helpless you can feel is when your body is battling a life-threatening condition - whether illness or sudden accident.
The Saviour gives hope and help in this by conquering death through the resurrection, through him, everyone shall live long beyond the passing of one's mortal body and given the opportunity to rise again with a perfected body.


The Saviour covers all pain, all joy, and all the in between.


Heaven's slice is knowing that He's here.

Transitions

Kids grow up too fast 

It's a total cliche I know, but that's because it's so craze balls true!

The sleeping chambers tugs at my heart the most every time it changes:

From bassinet

to crib,

to the lowest setting of the crib 

(for some reason this switch gave me the most tears),

to a bed bed?!

I am comforted though due to a simply wonderful quote that totally applies.

"There are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings"

                                                                                                                                                                -Dieter F. Uchtdorf (Grateful in Any Circumstances)

I've started to now get ever-so excited with every milestone we're presently hitting with my little girl.

Heaven's slice is maturing.

9 Reasons I knew I would be a Mother

I'm gonna shake things up and give you the "last but not least" reason first. 

1.  I was born a woman.
I so wish I read this talk prior to having my little one: (Click to read it-->) Are We Not All Mothers? by Sheri L. Dew. It is the #1 reason I knew I would be a mother. Here are some of my favourite quotes from the talk:

"Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living” —and they did so before she ever bore a child." 

 ^"Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us."

"As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we have always been mothers. And we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation." 

2. I enjoy listening to the same song over and over again.
I should clarify - If I really disliked the song when I originally heard it then I will NOT enjoy listing to it over and over again. When I discovered the repeat button on my first stereo I was hooked. You know who else loves hearing songs over and over again??? Kidlets!!!

3. I love to cheer and applaud.

And I get to do it throughout the day now with my toddler! It doesn't even matter what I'm cheering over, I just love clapping and giving praise no matter what. This one time I got really into a hockey game in cheering the team on. I leaned over to my husband and said, "Huh, we must be sitting with the 'away-team' fans eh?" To which he replied, "Nope." To be fair, we were in the nose bleed seating and their jerseys were pretty well the same colour... don't worry it's not like it was an NHL team; I just love cheering!

4. I love teaching. 
Not enough to have become a school teacher obviously, but I love helping someone achieve that "I actually understand now!" moment. How awesome is it in my current phase of life to get to teach things that I already know so well: colours, ABC's, names of things, animal noises, etc. Getting to teach these simple things is so stinkin fun!!

5. I'm an avid self-discoverer. 
I love finding out new things about me; what I enjoy doing and am good at, so I can focus on those things I already possess to benefit others(especially my kidlets). I can focus better on being the mommy I want to be and am, instead of jealousing over the mommy someone else is. 'Mommy guilt' isn't really something I get much of (it's ok, you can hate me...) and I think it's really because I don't compare.

6. I'm good at simplifying and staying non-busy.
I can better roll with the punches and unexpected twists and turns of motherhood because I don't make many plans or schedule much anyways. I do things on priority levels and I can easily cast off things that don't make the cut. This diffuses a lot of moments where I could be angry or resentful at the things I wanted to accomplish but couldn't because my toddler wanted/needed something entirely different. People trump things and that is that, so why pre-occupy myself with a long list of busy things to do?

7. I'm not only fine, but very comfortable being a hermit.
Honestly, if I get social interaction from even just 1 close friend once a month and it's in a grocery store, I'm good for the next 30+ days. I'm fine with kicking it at home with my kidlet and hubby 24/7, in fact it's kinda my fave.  I feel like most women desperately want that time away... but I'm weird and can do without it for very long periods of time without getting cranky.

8. I love reading children's books.
The pictures, the colours, the short paragraphs, the simple easily-understood wording, it's all just wonderful! When I'm in an in between phase of not having little ones at home or having grankids, I might just keep on buying and reading children's books. Don't be alarmed if you see me at an elementary school book fair childless...

9. I love snuggles. 
I just love it so much when my little girl wants me to hold her and snuggles on me; my heart melts and my worries cease.

Heaven's slice is knowing who you are.

Beautiful Bodies Part III (3)

I was going to title this "I am really really really ridiculously good-looking," but I thought it was a little too wordy (Can you tell I recently watched Zoolander?). Actually the title is what it is because I've already talked about this in my Beautiful Bodies Part II post, but I wanted to talk about it some more.






I'm still so amazed at how high my physical self-image gets once I'm preggers. It's like all my clothes magically look fantastic on me I don't even need to change 2-6 times before heading out the door anymore. As I look in my tall body-length mirror I can't help but stare at myself because of how good I look. I take a look at myself multiple times a day in that mirror, just to see if I'm still as hot as I was the last time I looked... and I ALWAYS am!! I mean what's up with this sudden surge of finding my bod so gorgeous I have to stare at it like some shiny new object I've recently acquired?

Most women (from what I can gather) do NOT feel this way when they're pregnant at all, so what's the matter with me? Are my pregnancy hormones messing with my eyesight doing a photoshop overload? Has my brain devised this illusion to stop me from changing wardrobes because it would exert too much energy that would be better used for baby forming? Did my husband give me too many appearance type compliments over the past 6+ years that they've somehow been adopted as my own thoughts via preggo-brain? Have my pre-natal vitamins been laced with something? ...

All joking aside, honestly this is what I've come to realize: I am the most grateful for my body when I'm pregnant. My self-image has been pretty healthy over the past some odd years, but when I'm pregnant it is truly when I appreciate my body the very most. I know not every woman can get this blessing of carrying a babe. Even though my pregnancies aren't a walk in the park and I do complain from time to time, deep down I am consumed with gratitude to have such a blessing growing in me. I learned long ago that gratitude and happiness are one in the same; You can never be truly grateful without being happy and you can never be truly happy without being grateful. Because of this happiness I gain from being in this blessed state, my inward joy can't help but spill towards my feelings on my outer body shell. There are no more blemishes, no more flaws, no more uglies; just pure beauty is seen.

(Bam!)

Seing yourself as beautiful, hot, gorgeous, or what have you really truly does start from within as a gratitude of one's body. You can pound pavement, lift those weights, get your hair did, do some crunches, nails manicured, make-up done to perfection, scream 'Zumba!' at the top of your lungs... but you'll never find yourself pretty until lunges of gratitude are put into your regular workout routine.

 

Heaven's slice is being barefoot and pregnant.

Food War

Only in a geographical society where we are so spoiled rotten by food choices from price, to packaging, to taste, to convenience, to bulk, to nutrient potency, to brands, to colour, etc. do we take food so for granted... So for granted in fact that disputes on how, where, and what factors produce food are being thrown into question consuming certain LOUD extremists so much so that, may be not purposefully, result in the targeted destruction of this mass production of food that we have been so spoiled blessed with.

Don't tell people what they can and cannot eat, and don't be telling farmers and producers what they can and cannot do to protect their crops and livelihood. They're trying so very hard to save the food in which we all eat, but they can't do that if it is forced upon them to produce in such small quantities due to such poor quality.

If you don't like it then don't eat it; it's that simple, but all the bullying and the propaganda based on non-factual nor scientific evidence needs to stop.

Food should not be such an issue in a culture that is so very fortunate to have food literally at their finger tips, in their deep freezes, in their fridges, in their pantries, in their storage rooms, and in nearly every public location they may be attending. Let us all just stop trying to put such fear into the eyes of others in regards to food and the food industries, because unfortunately there are many falling victim to these scams causing the producer to suffer meaning we will all suffer.

I mean is there not still illegal drugs floating around? And people dying of starvation around the globe? I mean why has food been such a war front for people in a society blessed with such an abundance of it? I feel embarrassed for our society, having what others have died not having in their  country and using it as a means of such insignificant debates and prideful energies. Are we seriously that ungrateful as a society?

I don't get it at all... but what I do get is that:


Heaven's slice is not having to know the pains of non-choiced hunger and starvation.