Thursday, January 9, 2014

Why we can't be friends

I'm pretty passionate about this topic, especially after having a daughter. I want her to continue to be amazed at the beautiful body she has and how smart and evolving her mind is. If this is what I desire of her I know I must gain and keep knowledge of this for myself.
(insert mirror)

Why we can't be friends:

We can't be friends because the popular magazines say we didn't make the cut for the top 20 most beautiful women in the world.
We can't be friends because the internet keeps popping up with ads that say a certain weight or size is where happiness is.
We can't be friends because we don't look near as good in those jeans as the girl on the poster.
We can't be friends because we don't know how to wear our makeup like that photo on pinterest clearly pointed out to us.
We can't be friends because every media outlet states we should look this certain way, act this certain way, have these certain things and we just don't.
We can't be friends because the standings showed us as coming in last.
We can't be friends because of past junior high school experiences where people told us we weren't pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough to make it in this world.
We can't be friends because our role models be it family, friends, co-workers, or acquaintances aren't friends with themselves, and you don't want to be left out in not feel the same way.
We can't be friends because our mothers showed us not to be, as her mother showed her, and hers before that.
Actually, I'm covering up to the truth... the real reason we can't be friends is you. I really don't care what other people have to say about us, I only care what you think of me. You are the reason we can't be friends: You call me a failure when you know I tried my best that time. You judge my beauty based numbers, which FYI is not only absurd, but impossible. You keep bringing up my mistakes of the past over and over when you know how truly sorry and regretful I am of them. You hardly ever let me go do what I'm truly passionate about because you're scared of what others might think or say. You're constantly comparing me to all these other women who aren't even us. AND you call me really mean names be it slob, lazy, fat, stupid, ugly etc. not only in private, but in front of other people!

If we're going to make this work you need learn to treat me the way you need to be treated.

I know my daughter is still just a baby, but I can just tell how glorious she sees herself through those big bright eyes. She knows how magnificent she is. How I want so much for her to keep that knowledge. So, as her mother I'm learning that for myself: how magnificent I am.

For me, studying more of Christ's life and words of the prophets have really soothed my self-inflicted wounds and has in turn given me the space I needed mentally to move forward. Learning how important I am to my heavenly father has enabled me to start internalizing His point of view. I've become a very dear friend to me. I'm learning to forgive myself, compliment myself, let myself do things I want to do, nourish myself with scripture study more routinely, and laugh with myself more. And through this journey you know what I've found? I'm becoming a better friend to those around me; I can forgive them more quickly, compliment them more freely, encourage them more in whatever their endeavours, and just be more mentally present for them (this most definitely includes those within my household). I've found that I'm loving my fellow man much more than I had in the past.

I'm so grateful that god sends down babies that can teach us about our worth. We need these reminders so much more than before in a world where it constantly tries to put us at war with ourselves. Let's be better friends to ourselves so we can help lift and strengthen those within our reach.

Heaven's slice is being a friend to yourself.

No comments: