Marriage Elephant

I feel like all marriages have some sort of elephant in the room no one wants to talk about: debt, resentment, infidelity, rejection... but if there's enough love and maturity in your marriage the elephant is literally just a gigantic pile of laundry.

Photo unavailable for comment. 

(as if I'd show you a photo of our mountain mess of clean clothes lol)

Heaven's slice is slurpees!

Cutting People Slack

Before I had my own kidlets I remember feeling like an outcast from other mothers. I or they would strike up a conversation and it would very quickly go to how many kids you had and once I'd say none, the conversation would end. I was quickly dropped to them in conversation because I wasn't a mother like them. Apparently I wasn't good enough or interesting enough to get to know because I was childless...

Then after I had my first child and now with my second, I completely understand. After you have a child, quoting Smashmouth's wise words, "your head gets smart, but your brain gets dumb." Your brain changes immensely after having a child, your wiring for taking care of your child and constantly asking "where's my baby, how's my baby?!" (see 'Mommy Brain') overrides everything else, up to and especially your adult speaking skills. My brain has to work so very very hard to retain information others have given me and spit out a sentence not only properly but appropriately. Holy cow it's weird how hard it is to have conversations; to start them, to continue them, to finish them, it's all just very exhausting to figure out how it once worked. You have to start at square one it seems with developing your social skills. When someone does also have children though it is easier to converse, simply because your brain and life is already deep in the thick of everything about your kids, so vocalizing becomes a lot easier. I'm intimidated now by others who don't have kids because they can speak with such ease, genuine concern, and tactfulness. I don't have those skills even close as strong anymore. To remember enough about a person to strike up a conversation and ask about certain things in their life that they've already made mention to me previously, takes a lot of digging deep into my mind to find. Meanwhile if I am succeeding in really listening to someone and conversing with them, guaranteed my children are being completely neglected because I am no multitasker when it domes to human interactions. Hopefully they haven't ran away in the time it took me to partake of a simple weather conversation with a stranger passing by at the park.

I'm not saying all mothers, especially in baby phases, are handicapped in their social awkwardness, but I (with great hope) can't be the only one who has a hard time. I've said things that don't make sense and came off rude I'm sure. I will just put out a blanketed apology, as I will butcher it if I say it in person, to anyone that has ever felt like they weren't interesting enough because they didn't have a child, that is simply not the case. I'm coming out of my brain mushiness more and more after having my second kidlet, but it truly has taken a lot of effort to get my social skills up to par. One thing you must always remember is you are awesome even to the wordless parent, I mean "hey now, you're a rockstar!"

So my hope is for someone reading this who has felt as I did before I had children to please cut those mothers slack; I so wish I did. Those poor exhausted awesome happily content wonderful parents that I mistook as rude were actually just more focused on the raising of their babies and saving brain energy to better parent. It was never that I wasn't good enough.

Furthermore it is an ever evolving lesson to myself that generally speaking people don't mean to be mean, and if they are coming off as such, there's probably reason enough to give them the needed benefit of the doubt.



Heaven's slice is cutting people slack.

5 Questions For Your Marriage

Recently I read the talk given last general conference titled "We'll Ascend Together" by Linda K. Burton, and it had some key points I really wanted to share - In this talk she posed 5 questions that can test how often we intentionally speak kind words to each other:

 "

1. 1. 
   When was the last time I sincerely praised my companion, either alone or in the presence of our children?

1. 2. 
   When was the last time I thanked, expressed love for, or earnestly pleaded in faith for him or her in prayer?

1. 3. 
   When was the last time I stopped myself from saying something I knew could be hurtful?

1. 4. 
   When was the last time I apologized and humbly asked for forgiveness—without adding the words “but if only you had” or “but if only you hadn’t”?

1. 5. 
   When was the last time I chose to be happy rather than demanding to be “right”?

Now, if any of these questions lead you to squirm or feel a tinge of guilt, remember that Elder David A. Bednar has taught that “guilt is to our spirit what pain is to our body—a warning of danger and a protection from additional damage.”

"

(To read or view the whole talk click here or the title at the top of the page)



Heaven's slice is continually working on a healthy happy marriage.

Winning MVP

Parenting/mothering your children is like a sport: There is always an opposing side to be fought aggressively for the win. Plays made are in both offence and defense form. Sometimes you have team mates, but majority of times you're in it alone. Not only is there physical stamina needed but mental, emotional, and spiritual endurance as it's game on 24/7. And instead of a cheering crowd, it's mostly critics, who are only able to see a spec of a glimpse of your parenting to further their judgments.


But one of the best things about this sport is that every day without fail you get awarded as the MVP, because to your kids you're always the MVP. Whether you're succeeding or in the struggles, the trophy is yours, and though you don't always feel like you deserve your MVP award at the end of the day, you are still the most-valued-player in their lives. It's not their soccer coach, english teacher, band instructor, nursery leader, their friend down the street, and no, it's not even grandma (gasp!); it's you! It's a lot of pressure and a whole lot of work being a parent, but I don't know of any actual sport that could come anywhere close to the satisfaction that comes from knowing what an important part  you play in someone's lives. I've never felt so needed, so vital in someone's life. Having a new baby just reminds you of how so very essential you are.




The parenting phase of having littles kind of forces you to put some personal activities you previously enjoyed onto the back burner, but given the immense sense of belonging, importance, significance, and necessity in being you feel  it truly isn't a sacrifice. (I haven't rode a horse in almost a year and do you think I've lost any sleep over it? Definetly have NOT.)

I want to earn it. I want to earn that MVP award at the end of the day. When my head hits that pillow my hope is always that my children have felt loved and were taught how to succeed, to improve, but most importantly to love others. The participation award is key to knowing you've earned your MVP title that day; really participating and being fully present in the presence of your children.

"The service that counts most is usually recognized by God alone." 

                                                                     - elder Michael T. Ringwood.

Heaven's slice is giving something up in cause for something greater and earning your MVP trophy.

I Would Rather

I would rather watch a lightning storm than fireworks.
I would rather ski in slushy snow with the warmth of the sun than perfect powder in freezing cold.
I would rather wear ski pants that are the bib overall kind than the pants type kind.
I would rather clothes shop all by myself than with others.
I would rather have backcombed crazy messy hair than thoroughly brushed through hair. (if your hair isn't thin, then you just don't understand).
I would rather have long 'unhealthy' hair with a ton of split ends than perfectly healthy short hair. (I have  a hair attachment)
I would rather ride the chair than the gondola. (it just feels safer for some reason EXCEPT not if I had my kid with me of course)
I would rather ride horses than sit around talking about it or about horses in general. (those conversations kinda bore me)
I would probably rather come up with names for all the stars in the sky than watch or play remote controlled video games. (the kinnect is awesome however)
I would rather stay up late than get up early.
I would rather wear jogging pants or pj pants than any other pant.
I would rather do my business in the woods than a public washroom. (I'm just not in a secluded forest often enough to utilize it)
I would rather chase a calf than a barrel.
I would rather have a lot of small bills or change than big bills in my possession.
I would rather write than read.
I would rather watch the movie than read the book.
I would rather dance than sing.
I would rather dance privately than in public.
I would rather Taylor Swift had chosen to stay country than pop... but whatever I guess her life is her decision... lame. (I so hate that I catch myself dancing to her new songs)
I would rather watch funny youtube celebrity interviews than uploaded funny one's from non-celebs.
I would rather pretend in my imagination that I'm a famous actress than ever actually be one.
I would rather spend my money on a trip or activity with someone than on a thing or object.
I would rather have bare feet than shoes to run out to the dumpster or vehicle at home.
I would rather my house be decluttered with stuff put away than sanitized.
I would rather get rid of things in my house than bring new stuff in.
I would rather have a cat than a dog. (Please no death threats - I respect that many have a different view and I'm fine with being the 'uncool' one that likes cats.)
I would rather my pets/animals be outside than in. (though if you live in town you have no choice obliviously;  your pets should be enclosed in your house/yard)
I would rather watch all the previews than skip to the movie.
I would rather chocolate than candy.
I would rather walk through a field than on pavement.




Heaven's slice is knowing yourself.

Bright Copper Kettles...

These are a few of my favourite things!

Sentimental Song Edition

These songs hold some deep memories, click on them to have a listen!


Tommy James and The Shondels - I Think We're Alone Now
Reminds me of my childhood as I listened to a lot of oldies in the truck and tractor when I was little. Tommy James and The Shondels have a ton of awesome hits, but this one was always my favourite.


Let It Go - Tim Mcgraw
I was warming up my (dad's) horse in the arena at my parents before roping practise and having heard this song on the radio earlier that day it had gotten completely stuck in my head. This song just takes me back sitting in the saddle walking circles and belting out "I'm gonna let it go-ooo-o yeah," in complete merriment. It was just an ordinary regular occurrence in my life, but this song has held the memory frozen(pun non-intentional) in time somehow all these years later.


Me and you - Kenny Chesney
My wonderful boyfriend made a slideshow of us featuring this song ending with a most important life-changing question at the end. It was one of many of our songs, but definitely the most sentimental to me.


My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee
This song sung at this time was at the end of a fireside broadcast I went to and holds a lot of emotion for me. The song still gives me chills every time I hear it. Details of that fireside and leading up to it are too personal and sacred to me to share, but I just had to include this song on this list. (the song starts at 1:52)



Heaven's Slice is music that tugs at the heart.

We Be Trippin

Oh how I love celebrating our anniversary! We went on our annual anniversary trip a couple months early and it was soooo fun! I just love going on road trips, exploring new places, and eating out with my hubby.

This year we actually both wore sunglasses in a vehicle photo! 

(if you're confused read this post)

Then on our actual anniversary we did some fun stuff with our kids(!), cruised, and ate out like all day. It was pretty fantastic!

Heaven's slice is the billy minor pie at the keg, the new choc. chip and peanut butter cookie dough blizzard at DQ, and of course... my hubby.