Feeling Awkward and Uncomfortable at Church and Church Activities

This has been something I've been pondering lately and I feel the tug to share of my own thoughts and experiences on it. I've read a few blog posts out there about those who feel uncomfortable at church. Like they don't fit into the "cookie cutter mormon woman" mold. Of course it's always an uplifting read because at the end they start to relay their own personal journey and testimony of the church and what keeps them there. I love it when people share their stories.

This is my post following this theme of feeling like a misfit at church and church functions.

Fact is, with many of these blog posts with their cookie-cutter description of the Mormon woman - happily married wife of multiple children - looks a lot like me. I don't really have any physical appearances that stand out from the "Mormon norm."

But,

I often feel and have felt like a misfit at church. I also share feelings of awkwardness, like I don't fit in. There have been times in my life that I've gone months sitting alone on a church bench every Sunday. There have been many church activities I've attended where I feel awkward, even uncomfortable socially. Like my personality and likes vary to a great degree to others around me. That I don't quite "fit in" with others at church.

So why do I go?

I go simply because I know that is where I belong. I feel so strongly that it is where I need to be and should be that it outweighs any sort of uncomfortable "mis-fit" feelings I encounter 10 fold. I know that the gospel of my church is true. This is precisely why I go. Always have. Always will.

And, I'm not naive enough to think I'm the only one who feels this way. If I appear to be part of of the "cookie-cutter" connotation yet feel like a misfit often, I am certain there are many others who may appear to me that they fit in, yet also have struggles of feeling like the odd ball at church too.

We are all so different. Our personalities. Our talents. Our passions. It's going to cause us to feel different a lot of the time. But just because we may feel different, uncomfortable or awkward at church by no way means that you don't belong. It's our differences that cause us all to need each other, to appreciate each other.

All of us struggle with different vices. All of us have our own specific struggles and short-comings. We all share this regardless of what our outward appearances look like.

Dare I say, we are all misfits at church. So feel free to join because the only thing that matters is that we are children of the most high. Everyone of us on this earth.



Heaven's slice is knowing why you belong at church.

Being Financially Responsible With Tithing Money

Once upon a time I was in a church calling as a 1st Councillor in Young Womens. We were trying to decide what to get each young woman as a special birthday gift. Each calling has a set budget, money wich comes from tithing. (10% of income members of the church voluntarily contribute to the church - read more here). As we were excitedly shuffling through these fancy and frilly ideas the Young Women President who had not yet contributed to the conversation very humbly and wisely started to speak about how we needed to consider the widows mite. That the money we were using someone may have financially forgone many wants perhaps needs in order to give that money to the church. Giving in faith that not only they would be blessed, but the church would benefit. There was a humbling hush that came over the rest of us. It rested greatly on my shoulders. This money was to contribute to the Young Womens program, a program which enables young women to gain their own testimony in order for them to access future temple blessings. To help them see themselves as who they truly are - as daughters of God. It's nice to have beautiful decorations and fun adventurous memories. But from a financial and spiritual standpoint, to what cost were they of worth? Did they fill the NEED? After that experience I've since had a strong grasp as to how and what I spend money on for church callings. Because I think about that person or family who saved and scrimped so that they could pay a proper tithing in building up the church. 

There is a most wonderful talk that explains it perfectly and incredible called The Widow's Mite by Gordon B. Hinckley in a talk he gave to BYU students (BYU being partially funded a great deal by tithing). 

He talks about a cheque he recieved from a widow for a large sum of money that she sacrificed greatly to give to the church and how the students needed to put that money to good use in this their education at BYU. 

You need to either read or listen to the whole thing, because it is absolutely wonderful! A must read for all church members, but especially those within callings that use tithing funds.

I remember a friend asked me about why members took turns cleaning the church. It was a casual conversation and I embarassingly gave out a sarcasticly funny remark about getting gold stars that get you into heaven. I can be a little imature sometimes, but I think I said after it's a good act of service or something. I wish I had relayed a portion of this quote though that was in the talk The Widow's Mite:

"The widow who brought to me her offering, which has become a portion of the funding of this university, would expect you to save, protect, and do all you can to preserve these remarkable facilities that have cost so much."

We need to clean and take care of our buildings and respect our church buildings as members precisely because of the tithing it took and sacrifices made for us to enjoy the building. It's a matter of gratitude and respect. 

Tithing is incredible and it has blessed our family so much in being able to give that 10%. It is a commandment with so many blessings (including financial) that come from the giver. But I would dare to say another part of paying tithing is to use that money responsibly and spiritually wise when we are alotted areas in which to spend money for the church's benefit. 



Heavenslice is using tithing money the way God intends it to be used.