My Irrational Fears

Warning: There is no profound message in this post. I just thought that by throwing this out there someone somewhere would connect to it and we would have a deep understanding of each other's weirdness through the wonder that is the interweb.

(some of)My irrational fears are as follows:

• If I wear white I will get stains on it, though this doesn't stop me from wearing it cause I'm like super daring.
• If I cry in front of people they will now have a HUGE blackmail advantage over me. Like if I see them rob a bank they'll come up to me and be all like, "remember when you cried?" and I'll have no choice but to tell the police that I saw nothing.
• If I make myself a structured daily routine and break it (which I will) I'll hurt myself's feelings for expecting too much from me and start resenting myself.
• That an anaconda or other large snake will be on the loose and appear in my home or on my property and try to kill/eat me and everyone I love.
• That my house will catch fire or some sort of emergency leading to an impromptu evacuation will be forced on me and I'll have but a small window to choose what I can save. (Definetly one of the reasons I crave minimalism.)
• If I wear shoes for a quick run out to my vehicle from my house and back an immense amount of time will be wasted. Hence, I always opt out for bare feet. 
• That I'll be asked to come up and sing at a concert with the artist and won't know the words. Or that I'll be asked backstage and won't know all their songs to make a favourite pick once they demand me to answer what my favourite song of theirs' is. Hence, I try to always prep before concerts in learning the songs/lyrics.
• That I'll meet a famous actor/actress, but won't know their name or body of work enough to form some sort of friendship. Hence why I try to stay up to date in the celebrity land (reality stars I don't count for this though... obviously).
• That I'll become famous in the media somehow and develop some sort of stalker... hence, why I try not to divulge family names or addresses, especially on this blog.
• That there will mud, oil, paint, and definitely manure stains as well as many holes, rips, and tears in my clothing when attending outdoor type activities (barns, horses, cattle etc.). I must always wear my raggedy play/chore clothes at all costs. When I see girls all decked out in their expensive jeans and hoodies with these cute tops I get such an array of anxiety-filled concern for them... as well as jealousy because of what I showed up looking like - I have cute clothes too!! I feel like I took the conversation my mom had with me as a child about the difference between "play" clothes and "nice" clothes way too seriously. I still have designated separate drawers for each. Wedding dresses and grad dresses I don't care if I wear though since the big event for those is done and over.
• That I will end up on the 'people at Walmart' site and be talked about badly by everyone that sees me if I wear my play/chore clothes to town/public places.
• That people don't think I'm funny (I know, super irrational since I'm hilarious).

Heaven's slice is getting over one's irrational fears. 

The Newborn: How I Survived As A Mommy

Every circumstance, person, and child is unique, so rest assured I am NOT putting this out there saying 'this is what you must do.' I've just been reflecting lately on how I got through my first baby in that precious life-changing newborn stage as a first time Mommy.

Firstly though, I must state that I did not have a traumatic birth/delivery with my little one. There was pain involved and I definitely cried and screamed at times, but on the inside I was literally beaming with excitement and joy to finally get to meet my baby! Also, I never suffered from any postpartum depression, in fact I kind of had the opposite; I had a postpartum slap happy high that honestly lasted months and months, gradually fading out unnoticeably over time. Another thing - I didn't really require any physical recovery from childbirth.

Anyways, now that you all hate me - here are 9 things that helped me survive the newborn stage as a first-time Mommy:

1. I never read any books, went to any classes, nor listened to the majority of other moms regarding anything birth and baby related. Reason being is that the major theme that would come out from these sources was that it was going to be HARD WORK AND LOTS OF IT! It was all just a super wet blanket I knew I had to steer clear of. Not to say that the whole birth thing and dealing with a newborn is all rainbows and butterflies... but it kind of is. You're having a baby/ have a baby! How freaking awesome is that! You get to be a Mommy! No one will ever need or want you more than this little creature, and you will never love anyone (other than your other kids to follow of course!) the way you get to love this sweet babe. They are yours and you are theirs. It's not spoken or written enough the abundance of overwhelming love that consumes you.

2. I didn't let anyone (other than my dear husband and I) clean my home - laundry, dishes, floors, etc. This one's probably just specific to me. I get so stressed when others clean my house, and stress was the last thing I needed/wanted having a newborn to tend to. I could deal with living in the mess because I knew it was temporary and it was not on my list of priorities for this certain duration. What I really wanted/needed the most from others was just the doting on my little one; holding her and telling me how beautiful and wonderful she was. Thankfully, my life is full of the most wonderful family and friends, so this was greatly accomplished. Also, I got 2 or 3 meals given to us and it was just so nice to be nourished without all the effort we'd have to put into it before hand.

3. I only read/watched/played on a screen when there was literally nothing else I could do. Which means only when she was eating (which ya was a lot). It gave me permission to waste that time on entertainment, but also the freedom of not getting addicted to it. It was shut off the minute she was done and then I could finally spend that time snuggling, staring, talking, making faces, and listening to her sweet self.

4. I didn't take that many photos or videos of her. Rest assured I did take plenty, but there were days even weeks (gasp!) when I never pulled out that camera. I just wanted to be a part of all those moments and enjoy them without the camera-grabbing stress. There will be plenty of photos for her to have and look through when she's older, but a million of her at the newborn stage to me was just a needless task.

5. I prioritized. Food and sleep was all I needed. Of course her needs came before mine, and there were plenty, but when I got those moments when she was with my husband or sleeping I always chose my 2 basic needs always. I'd quickly down on some cupboard munch or leftovers and jump into bed!

6. I had many write-off days. Phone's were on silent, doors were locked and I shut myself in: No showers, no getting dressed, no cleaning, no cooking, no hair done, no make-up, no leaving the house, and no people. Days like that may sound awful to others, but I really truly just loved them. I gave my newborn all she would need and we would grab those zzz's as much as we could. No worrying about anything or anyone else, just us :)

7. I married a real good man. This action was made long ago, but it has paid off times a million; Most especially when you have a baby with him! He picked up where I lacked, he loved that little girl and her momma like crazy, and did anything and everything he could for us. He helped even more than I ever expected or anticipated. I highly recommend it to everyone when going through the newborn stages as a Mommy!

8. I knew that this time was fleeting. Any of the hard, any of the messy, any overwhelming stings of exhaustion were swallowed up entirely by just knowing that this wouldn't last long. She would grow up; she would no longer need me 24/7, she would no longer fit into my one arm, she would no longer make those baby sounds, she would no longer wake me up at all hours of the night, she would no longer have those itty bitty hands, those tiny feet, those perfectly little lips... one day she would no longer be this little baby of mine. Knowing this brought me wanting and soaking in every moment, and not only enjoying but deeply loving every aspect of it all, of her, and of me.


Lastly, but the most important:

9. I was grateful. I don't think anyone can fully comprehend what an amazing gift a child is, but I definitely had a knowledge of how very fortunate I was. Waking up from dreaming to a crying little one was just the pinch I needed to know this dream was real! I really do get to keep her! I have a baby! This gratitude left me with many overwhelming happy tears and made it a pure joy to be able to take care of this precious gift from heaven.

It's such a beautiful mess of a time that I am so blessed to be able to have had!



Heaven's slice is loving your newborn.

Being The Judge

Why yes, that is a rubber mallet... work with me ok!?

All of us have been effected at some point in our life by someone else's ill actions. Whether it's family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, co-workers, employers, managers, politicians, anyone and everyone could be the suspect really. A dishonest unethical lie of a cheat steal cruel mean no-good wrongful sinful purposeful disgusting action made. Which you saw, felt the effects of, heard about, or read about. Whether you truly know the detailed facts first hand of it all or you're 100th ear in the great vine, you're angered at what happened, is happening, or is about to unfold. "How could they?!" You're especially angered when that person has given the family, community, workplace or what have you the impression that they are a righteous-liver, a do-gooder, an honest near-perfect man or woman of infinite integrity. What perhaps could make you even more angry is that their belief and value system, their religion, is the same as yours! "I mean holy cow! Are you kidding me?! You claim to be trying to walk the path Christ has trod, to live your life in continual progression and improvement on one's self and then you pull this stunt! This unacceptable out of the blue down right wrong action!  Seriously?! Don't try to hide what you did, you're not even trying to fix it, or STOPPING yourself from doing it! GRRRRRR... I wish I could just sit you down and force you to QUIT! Force you to FIX that which you have done, FORCE YOU TO JUST DO THE RIGHT THING!!!!!!"

...

And then you realize it...

YOU have just joined in on the request for Satan's plan. You know, that one we fought hard against in the pre-mortal existence because we wanted the actual plan, the plan that our Heavenly Father and brother Jesus Christ set up for us? May be you remember that plan we chose so long ago (probably not) but you may remember reading, studying, or learning it - it rang to the tune of AGENCY. All whom have a body here chose that plan: To act for ourselves as individuals. To come down and live this mortal life in this world at this time, with this body. To choose for ourselves the good from the evil, to act for ourselves, to try to live righteously so that we could return to our Heavenly Father and have eternal progression, so we could become even as He is. We would make mistakes, we would sin, we would fall short and stumble, surely. So, a Saviour would be provided to take on our guilt, sorrows, and sins so that if we fell we could get back up again and have the strength to keep going. We would draw that straight line that would start going crooked at times, but we could want that change and feel that remorse and that crookedness could be erased from our project; we could become perfect through His atonement. It was Satan's counter plan that stated to take away agency and FORCE US ALL TO DO RIGHT, so that we all could return to the kingdom and the glory could be his (Satan's).

Respecting Agency
Our God wanted us to have agency. We wanted to have agency. So the next time we get down trodden and angered by someone else's decisions let us remember that we need to be respecters and upholders of agency. It is not to be said that we should turn a blind eye to something wrong. It is our responsibility to of course report anything serious or unethical through the proper channels. But, perhaps we may guard our heart a little better in not letting it effect us as it does. If you yourself can look in that mirror and know you have done right and been honest through it all, following the rules, policies, laws or what have you, then there is no need for loss of sleep and no need for this to consume you.

It's so hard being the judge of others and trying desperately to correct and fix their mistakes. Thank goodness we don't have to; we're even commanded not to. God will be the judge and we can can continue on in our own personal journey.



Heaven's slice is being a respecter of agency.

A Whole Year!

I can dream pretty big and get pretty consumed by my imagination. I can get so consumed that I kind of get bored of that dream since I used up all my engergies with it in la la land. Eventually I just abandon any pursuit of the dream because its really already come true in my head. What I'm getting at is that I don't stick to things very often... But one year ago today I started this blog with the intentions of doing at least 1 post a week and I totally succeeded for an entire year!!! WHAT?!! So in honour of this great feat I'm doing a GIVEAWAY!... to myself... in the form of a small coke slurpee :) I may also make myself a cake too because I think there's a cake mix about to expire in my storage room... Any hoo I guess it goes to show if you find something you're really passionate about, you make the time and effort for it.

Also here's a flashback to my first blog post: CLICK HERE!

PS I'm sorry I'm not giving a slurpee to you also, it's just that I'm attempting to live like I'm broke for the next 2 months and I can't justify budgeting that in for the millions (slight exaggeration) that are reading this. 

Heaven's slice is celebrating it's 1 year old birthday.