My personal 'beautiful body' story.
I've got to be honest here -
Pregnancy ruined my self-image. My body went through so many drastic changes over the course of my pregnancy and is still seemingly a forever changing thing. This whirlwind of body transformations ruined my self-image...
and replaced it with an even better one.
This is where my beautiful body image really started. I say '
really' because I've had sparks of experiences throughout my life where I've loved my body and saw it as beautiful, but sparks are not
really a flame. My pregnancy with our first child really forced all the sparks into the flame it is today. My mind shifted from seeing all that was negative, gross, uncomfortable, awkward, and worrisome to see what was in fact
a miracle. This miracle subtly and yet forcibly gave me the deepest of gratitudes for my body. I saw myself as beautiful because I started to finally understand what I should have remembered all along - my body is a gift from my Heavenly Father, so it is and always was beautiful. My rise to a better self-image is not at the bonfire stages for me, but the flame's been yet to be extinguished over the past 2 years thus far, so I'm counting that as a win.
Perhaps one of the biggest scams of this world is this idea implanted within that we must find as many flaws in our body's appearance as possible. The ironic thing behind this scam is that it was conjured up by someone whose never had nor ever will have a body of their own. This person is so envious of this mortal body that he wants everyone with this precious bodily gift and experience to be as unhappy as he is. You may have guessed who it is, but just to be clear -
it's Satan's scam. Even as I type this post a part of me wants to somehow incorporate that I am far far from having the perfect body... which I guess I just did... DANG YOU!
My journey to self-esteem has been a roller-coaster ride, but I believe the major drops are long behind me. I feel my body is beautiful because it is deeply rooted on the foundation that it is a gift from my loving Heavenly Father and a means by which to get back to him.
There are however some
personal trivial practices that I engage in to protect myself from the adversary's attempts to shake my confidence:
Food: I've taken a personal interest in my own diet in what makes my body feel normal instead of relaying to me that death is near. Taking control of my diet over the past couple years has reinforced a love for my body instead of a hatred. I found what works with
my body and it's made a world of difference. It's my own personal opinion that not every person can nor should have the exact same foods or food type of intake. Just as people have a love and hate for different tastes our bodies do well with certain foods that may cause adverse effects in others. I
really dislike when people tell me what I should or should not be eating - it kinda grinds my gears - so I try to tip toe away from those conversations as best I can. I will say
hypocritically however, that eating every few hours has really
taken away most all and any guilt issues with food, which is
amaze balls for self esteem.
(and yes it also boosts your metabolism blah blah blah...).
Exercise: I personally hate feeling like I'm exercising for looks - as in trying to sculpt a better-looking body. It just makes me feel bad, like I'm telling myself, "you ugly."
(I'm aware I overthink things a lot... I'm working on it.). So, really I only do "active" things for 4 reasons - fun, solidarity, strength, or an energy boost.
Weight: I try not to weigh myself much, it just doesn't matter, really it doesn't. Even if I hit a super low weight, if I continue to monitor it then that now becomes my new normal and I feel like I now have to be lower every time, which is just straight up
dumb. I try hard to never divulge my weight or size, as to me there's never a good enough reason to do this other than if a healthcare professional asks. When someone states their weight frequently in conversation I feel like they just whipped out a name tag sticker, wrote their weight on it and smacked it onto their shirt. It CLEARLY says "Hello, my
name is:" Very odd thing for a non-illiterate person to do...You are not a number!
Photos: Seeing a bad photo of myself where it doesn't match how pretty I thought I looked kinda ruins my day. So... I take a lot of photos and delete any I don't like right away. I also try to put up photos I love and think I look good in inside my home
(and probably online too...).
Make-up and Mirrors: Back when I was around 13 it was relayed to me once that a pageant-type head figure would make herself look as beautiful as she could in the morning primping in front of the mirror, and then she'd forget about herself for the rest of the day and focus on others. That notion really struck me because I feel a lot of time can be wasted amongst other people while I wonder how I'm looking and thereby paying little attention to the needs of those around me. So, I've implemented this in my life - I play with my hair, makeup, and clothes
(which is actually kinda a fun part of my day) in front of the mirror till I feel pretty oh so pretty then I forget how I'm looking for the rest of the day. I may look like a train hit me by the end, but in my head I look exactly how I last saw myself. Also, if I have in fact been hit by a train I avoid mirrors like the plague.
Alone time: I am an introvert anyways so may be this one is just me, but I honestly feel most secure and beautiful when I'm alone to myself or with the hansome hubs and darling daughter. I'm not sure why, but I require a lot of this time alone to be able to gain enough stamina for it to last around others. It's like filling my self-esteem tank up. Being alone is where I can view the big picture more clearly and not get caught up in all of life's details.
So there you go, a positive little self-esteem/self image talk from yours truly...
and I didn't even have to post a nude photo! (if you're confused - read my BEAUTIFUL BODIES rant).
Heaven's Slice is seeing your body as beautiful.
