Heaven

I've started to read the book Daughters in My Kingdom and I love it! It is a book put out by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the church to which I belong). I've been reading bits here and there when I get a chance and it's been an empowering upliftment to my divine nature as a woman. It's a wonderful book on the history and work of Relief Society.

"Relief Society is the oldest and largest women's organization in the world. Relief Society was established in 1842 for women 18 years of age and older. Its purpose is to build faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and help those in need." ( I copied this definition from mormon.org which I hope is ok to do as I don't think I could have explained it any more precisely.)

There is a quote in particular contained in the book that explains how I view the word heaven in regards to this blog. It's just the perfect explanation of the slice of heaven I try to convey in my posts.

" Heaven is a place, but also a condition; it is home and family. It is understanding and kindness. It is interdependence and selfless activity. It is quiet, sane living; personal sacrifice, genuine hospitality, wholesome concern for others. It is living the commandments of God without ostentation or hypocrisy. It is selflessness. It is all about us. We need only to be able to recognize it as we find it and enjoy it...  " - Spencer W. Kimball

Heaven's slice is reading a good inspiring book.

Offended

It has become an increasingly evil word to me, more so than ever. Being "easily offended" is a phrase I used to mysteriously disguise in myself as "tender hearted." Ha! That wool was definitely pulled over my eyes. Now I am slowly but surely trying to remove this wool. Though it be difficult, it is necessary, for I know how it can spread quickly into our own detriment if not urgently treated.

These are my own personal tips that have been helps to me on this journey of no longer being easily offended, and being able to forgive at a quicker pace. Feel free to see if some work for you as well :)

1. Pray for whom you are offended by. This is not easy or sincere at first, but if you consistently keep them in your prayers, in time, a love for that person is formed and offences are dropped. Peace settles into your heart and there is no longer an issue.
2. Do not complain about them to others. I realize there is this philosophy that people need to "vent" but remember the right person to "vent" to. True peace and comfort is not found in the words of man, but who? You guessed it - Heavenly Father. Privately take the matter up to him, he can take the harsh rant you have in store and he not only understands where you're at better than anyone else but also where the other person is at better than anyone else. Only He can give you the complete listening space and freedom to talk on the subject and only He can grant you the answer in comfort, peace and guidance as to where to go from there. 
3. Remember that EVERY person in your life is a son or daughter of god. If you claim to love your Heavenly Father then try to find a love for his creations.
4. Read and ponder Christ's life and atonement. Miracles form in our lives when we make Him a part of ours. He loved us so much that he chose to learn of our specific individual lives in perfect knowledge through the atonement. If we but take some time daily to learn of his life, a transformation of ourselves can more easily be commenced. 
5. Remember being offended is a sin. Just remembering that can start the hope-filled repentance journey where the offence can be diminished.
6. Imagine how you would feel if you had done what they had done to you (Answer - Horrible!). Go with that feeling of utter heartache of guilt into it's depths. This causes you to realize you wish that pain on NO ONE ever! So it becomes easy to quickly forgive and forget.
7. Always assume you misunderstood what they said or did. I swear about 90% of arguments are based on a misunderstanding of what the other meant; so the odds are definitely in your favour if you assume you misunderstood. 
8. Pick your battles. Does this effect you directly day in day out, or is it a one time jab. One time jab - rub some dirt on it and move on. Day in day out wound - prepare the armour and gather the troops (in a kindly way of course).
9. Ask yourself - Am I pushing the knife in my side farther, or are they? If you are, then let it go, why are you hurting yourself? That's just dumb. If they are, then say something. I believe in teaching people how to treat you, so if someone is truly continually hurting you then simply tell them kindly and promptly, chances are they will apologize or state they did not mean it that way, making it super easy for you to forgive and move on.
10. Remember forgiving is a form of charity. You want charity in your countenance? Then you simply cannot choose to stay offended.
11. Be thou humble. You can not be offended and humble. Being humble to me means knowing that god is in charge. Opposite of humility is pride, which would mean you deny that god is in charge. You are in a state pridefunelness (let's pretend that's a word k?) when you are offended. Beware of the awful pride cycle! God praises the humble and curses the prideful, so motivation to quickly reinforce humility causes the offence to roll away from from my basket of burdens.
12. Have gratitude. I've come to find out that gratitude and happiness is one in the same. You can NOT have one and not the other. So, if you are offended then you are not happy right? So really what you're saying when you are offended is that you are ungrateful. Start counting/focusing-on your blessings and you will no longer be offended.
13. Beware of the "one" exception. " I'm not easily offended, it's just that _____(fill in name)______ ALWAYS... ON PURPOSE..." There can be no exceptions when it comes to forgiving, it is required of us to forgive all.
14. Have trouble memorizing or retaining information? Use that precious gift! Forget what they did, distract yourself with other thoughts and don't pull up those flashcards of past offences ever again. There is no information on that event that you need, so chuck it out of your head!
15. If you are offended by a look, you have hit rock bottom. People simply can not help the way their face is coming across to you. If you are offended by the way someone glanced at you or looked at you during conversation then you're definitely digging for any and all offences. Acknowledge your severe case of being offended and throw yourself in rehab asap.
16. Imagine (privately of course!) that they have some sort of mental handicap making them incapable of any accountability. I know this sounds cruel, but there has been times where this has truly helped me quickly switch my thoughts from anger to compassion. It is a last resort type go to method for me when I just need the hurt gone in a hurry. I have had many experiences with those who have severe mental illnesses and have said things to me like "you've been gaining weight, you can really tell in your face." I couldn't help but chuckle at the comment knowing that the mental illness which they had been diagnosed with caused a very distorted reality. But what if I didn't know this? You don't know who may have that severe handicap and has no idea what is inappropriate. 
17. Write a blog post about how to accomplish 'how not to be easily offended.' But seriously, this is the fake it till you make it approach that's proven to be a real help to me (a very recent help ;) ). Write down your thoughts on this subject, make it a type of teaching outline. Your own experiences will help motivate you to understand how 'being offended' damages your life as well as invoking a great change within.

This is an engagement photo from way back when. So ya... it has nothing to do with this post, but our faces and body language look like may be we could be offended... may be? I'm really just trying to always have a photo on posts so people won't mind the lengthy read as much. Fail? (Please don't answer that...)

This is a journey for me that I'm hoping stay on, it is not easy, but the results from incorporating this I know will bring me closer to the person I want to be.

Wish me luck on thickening my heart's cover!

Heaven's slice is choosing not to be offended.

A mother's decision

This past week I had to make a decision that all working mothers have to make once they have a child and their maternity leave is up... do I go back to work? This post is a personal one, and one in where I will repeat again is a personal one. Every mother has to make this decision herself with regards to her own circumstances and special situations. This is not a debating matter of right or wrong; it is a personal matter within yourself, your family and the lord. Through gaining divine inspiration over what your particular decision should be and you choosing to act is what makes it right or wrong. Outside judgements cannot hold, as only a mother knows her circumstances and her relationship with the lord is a sacred one.

For me, it was wrong choice to go back to work full-time. I've read a lot of talks and scriptures on the topic within my religious beliefs and the answer became very clear to me. My divine nature and purpose is to be a mother - a nurturer. Having a little one specifically placed in my charge is one of the greatest miracles and blessings I've ever received. I feel therefore, that my time and attention should be towards my daughter and husband and not towards an outside career. We have sufficient for our needs as a family, so I find no reason why our family needs the extra pay cheque at this time.

Hard times may come into play in the future with our finances, but right now we are stable. I've found it easy to live a frugal lifestyle as I've never really known any different, so this will be a great preparation for when times are tough and cuts in budgets need to be made. With me staying in my job as casual I'm free to say yes and no to as many or as little shifts as suits my family. It will also keep me as an internal employee with my employer, so if I need to go back to work financially I'll be able to apply for jobs within the corporation with more sway for them to hire me. Staying casual will also keep the knowledge and skills in my field of work up to date, so if I have to re-enter into the workforce more fully, it will be a smoother transition.

This answer to stay home with my little kidlet was not only a logical one for our circumstances, but also a divinely inspired heartfelt reassurance of peace. This past year (she was born about a year ago) has been the best year of my life. I have had many happy joyous moments in my years past, but this year was different. I have never been so consistently happy day in and day out. It's like there was never a bad day, only a bad hour or three, then it was good again. The reason for my magical transformation of happiness? - I found my purpose. Yes, my little girl's face brings immense joy, gratitude, and love to my heart, but she was merely the humble messenger; it goes much deeper than that. It goes back to Heavenly Father and the great plan of salvation; it goes back to the pre-existence before I entered into this world. I was female then just as I entered this world as such. With this gender specific powers, traits, and responsibilities were placed upon me. I always knew that this was, but I didn't fully understand what it meant for me. The birth of our little one has forced me to take care of someone else's every need 24 hours a day 7 days a week. You'd think that this would exhaust me, that it would drain me, but it did not. Though my body at times grew weary, my spirit became refreshed and invigorated beyond delight. I was able to forgive easier, think of others more often, and be kinder to those around me. I felt a jump start to a new life, striving joyously to change my behaviours to better reflect the love of my heavenly father.

To be a mother, a nurturer, a woman is all in the same and it is a glorious holy calling entrusted upon the female gender. It is a power of love, care, and empathy that breaks all bounds and brings us closer to our Saviour. How I wish this knowledge became clearer to me earlier in life, but it did not. A tiny messenger however, brought this knowledge swiftly to my attention, and I will never be the same.

Heaven's slice is knowing your divine role.

Being an adult rocks

A few weeks back I was sitting on the couch in our basement. It was late at night so my little one was asleep upstairs. By my side was my handsome hubby, we were watching a tv show I quite enjoy and I had not one but two ice-cream cones in my possession; both of which were for me. This was one of those times where my kid self would approve of this poster worthy moment with the bold caption: Adulthood - you're doing it right.

Being an adult no doubt has it's challenges with being independent in making a life and a home for yourself. Working, going to school, paying bills, budgeting, and all the necessary decisions needed for one to acquire the lifestyle you so choose comes with stresses. I get that, however I have been fortunate enough thus far to have more than sufficient for my needs and I am truly loving adulthood with all it's glories - If I want to go for a cruise I don't have to ask permission for car keys or get a lecture on gas wasting. If I want to bake cookies at 10:45pm or just eat all the dough straight from the raw egg infested bowl I do it guilt free. I love adulthood and all the agency we get to pursue while in this wonderful phase. While some look back longingly on the carefree beckoning of their childhood, I look at my right now in this wonderful phase I stand in with my full agency intact. At times my opinions stir from hearing someone state the common phrase "everything happens for a reason"  and I bite my tongue fighting to yell "yes, and sometimes the reason is you made a stupid decision." But then I check myself and humbly remember, that is their agency, and you of all people know how precious that is, so no judgments are necessary.

I definitely had a good childhood and teen years, but since becoming an adult there's something to be said on personal agency in our freedom to choose. It's part of the divine plan of this mortal realm we're in, and I'm truly grateful for the privilege and trust heavenly father gave us with this portion of the plan. Sometimes I think the time spent in the Garden of Eden was similar to a childhood - sometimes I think that even though Adam and Eve might have missed petting all the tame lions, tigers, and bears and viewing all the beautiful weedless plant life, they embraced their full understanding of the agency they possessed after being cast out of the garden and working their way to return to their Father's presence. They understood it was necessary and strived to find the joy through their righteous choices.

Being an adult rocks.

Heaven's slice is agency.