(In the "littles" phase anyways...)It's not the tantrums, it's not the colds, it's not the messes, it's not the lack of sleep, and no, it's not losing the precious "me" time.
The hardest part of parenting is feeling the judgment of others.
Whether it's from a close family member or some dude in the cereal isle, it's hard to ignore the deep anxiety that ensues within when your child has a hard time in front of others. You're scared that they think you are an unfit or inadequate parent, but what's even harder is feeling like someone is judging your child; that they're bad mannered, or something is wrong with them. It's just the worst feeling, and as much as I'd love to say it's all in one's own mind thinking they're judging us when they aren't, let's be honest - they are. I've done it, especially before having my own kidlets. You've done it too I'm sure. From Facebook post sharing of self-righteous parenting do's and do not's, from a blogpost pin on Pinterest, from swimming pools to the public playground; We judge. We judge, and it's AWFUL that we do this. Unless there is some serious red flags regarding abuse that need reporting or a direct involvement with your child, we have no right to pridefully disapprove someone's parenting of their own young.
I'm not saying this is the only only reason, for there are many, why I'm somewhat of a hermit - shutting myself in with my kids, but... it's definitely one of the reasons. Staying in my own home away from public is just so much more empowering for me as a mother to raise, teach, and love my darlings the way I feel is best. I feel completely secure in how I'm helping them grow when I'm away from the judgement or perceived judgment from others.
Sometimes I think people genuinely feel that by giving advice without being asked it is doing a parent a kindness. However, I feel that parents are a lot more assertive than people give credit and if they are struggling and want advice, they will most definitely ask for it first.
Oh, and also putting jeans on a squirmy baby, that's pretty hard too... it may be a tie for that one.
I'm not saying this is the only only reason, for there are many, why I'm somewhat of a hermit - shutting myself in with my kids, but... it's definitely one of the reasons. Staying in my own home away from public is just so much more empowering for me as a mother to raise, teach, and love my darlings the way I feel is best. I feel completely secure in how I'm helping them grow when I'm away from the judgement or perceived judgment from others.
Sometimes I think people genuinely feel that by giving advice without being asked it is doing a parent a kindness. However, I feel that parents are a lot more assertive than people give credit and if they are struggling and want advice, they will most definitely ask for it first.
Oh, and also putting jeans on a squirmy baby, that's pretty hard too... it may be a tie for that one.
Heaven's slice is training yourself to stop judging other parents and finding ways to not care about what others think of our own parenting.
No comments:
Post a Comment