Thursday, November 12, 2015

I can't do hard things

Behind every heart, a trail of deeply agonizing pain can be found. Some of these hurts are publicly known, but for the most part they go silently unnoticed by the local population. I've always had somewhat of a difficult time hearing others' words stating their accomplishment of something difficult. In a large part, the reasoning why I have a difficult time hearing it is because I don't comprehend how they alone defeated it. You see, I can't do hard things. As much as I'd may be like to share with you a grand list of my trials, failures, and heartbreaks and how I percervered because of my great strength, it's simply not true. There is a darkness that has overcome me many times in various stages of life I have had thus far, and I truly could not be rid of it. It had it's way with me a time or two (or ten) purely because I tried to fight it alone. Painful experiences and circumstances have shown themselves to me in such different and unexpected ways; still, they are all the same - they are a hard thing. A hard thing that I matter-of-factly can't bare.

I alone have never been able get through hard things, though I have gone through a plethora of them. Simply put, the reasoning is because I always had someone with me fighting out the dark and carrying me back into the light. The most important and valued piece of knowledge my parents gave me was that I was a child of God and that I could always call upon Him no matter when or where I was at emotionally, mentally, or physically. It was because of this knowledge my parents so wisely taught me that I have been able to go through unspeakable tortures that have been thrown my way. I can't do hard things, but my Savior can, and my Savior did. He went through all of what I've experienced, and because of his mercy upon my soul he has provided me with a second pair of eyes, hands, and heart far more greater than I can fathom. In my darkest hours as I have called out to divinity, I have always been given their strength to help me do the hardest things that I couldn't bare. I am lifted up because my hand stretched toward the greater; I let go of the cliff crevice and put my hand in theirs and that is how I avoided the fall. It was never my strength, it was theirs. I can't do hard things.

Heaven's slice is knowing that your strength is not your own.

No comments: