(some of)My irrational fears are as follows:
- If I wear white I will get stains on it, though this doesn't stop me from wearing it cause I'm like super daring.
- If I cry in front of people they will now have a HUGE blackmail advantage over me. Like if I see them rob a bank they'll come up to me and be all like, "remember when you cried?" and I'll have no choice but to tell the police that I saw nothing.
- If I make myself a structured daily routine and break it (which I will) I'll hurt myself's feelings for expecting too much from me and start resenting myself.
- That an anaconda or other large snake will be on the loose and appear in my home or on my property and try to kill/eat me and everyone I love.
- That my house will catch fire or some sort of emergency leading to an impromptu evacuation will be forced on me and I'll have but a small window to choose what I can save. (Definetly one of the reasons I crave minimalism.)
- If I wear shoes for a quick run out to my vehicle from my house and back an immense amount of time will be wasted. Hence, I always opt out for bare feet.
- That I'll be asked to come up and sing at a concert with the artist and won't know the words. Or that I'll be asked backstage and won't know all their songs to make a favourite pick once they demand me to answer what my favourite song of theirs' is. Hence, I try to always prep before concerts in learning the songs/lyrics.
- That I'll meet a famous actor/actress, but won't know their name or body of work enough to form some sort of friendship. Hence why I try to stay up to date in the celebrity land (reality stars I don't count for this though... obviously).
- That I'll become famous in the media somehow and develop some sort of stalker... hence, why I try not to divulge family names or addresses, especially on this blog.
- That there will mud, oil, paint, and definitely manure stains as well as many holes, rips, and tears in my clothing when attending outdoor type activities (barns, horses, cattle etc.). I must always wear my raggedy play/chore clothes at all costs. When I see girls all decked out in their expensive jeans and hoodies with these cute tops I get such an array of anxiety-filled concern for them... as well as jealousy because of what I showed up looking like - I have cute clothes too!! I feel like I took the conversation my mom had with me as a child about the difference between "play" clothes and "nice" clothes way too seriously. I still have designated separate drawers for each. Wedding dresses and grad dresses I don't care if I wear though since the big event for those is done and over.
- That I will end up on the 'people at Walmart' site and be talked about badly by everyone that sees me if I wear my play/chore clothes to town/public places.
- That people don't think I'm funny (I know, super irrational since I'm hilarious).
Heaven's slice is getting over one's irrational fears.