Thursday, April 24, 2014

Just you wait

Disclaimer: Before I start this I'd like to first state that there are NO individuals that stand out whatsoever in regards to my experiences with this. This is more or less a cultural trait I wish to shed light on because I'd like love to see some changes :)

Our culture as a whole in general has seemed to have feasted upon this "Just you wait" conversation holder:

"Just you wait till you've been married a couple...10... 40 years" 
"Just you wait till you're in the last labor...the baby comes out."
"Just you wait till they start crawling... teething... walking"
"Just you wait till they're 2, 3, 4...10...14...18 years old."
"Just you wait till you have 2, 3...10 children"

It seems as though people have this need to make sure others know how horrible the next phase is going to be, have or having not been through it themselves. After the "Just you wait" phrase always comes a negative know-it-all notation that in fact the stages ahead are going to be miserable. Your beaming glow from the stage you're in and the stage you're looking forward to seems to draw out the fun-suckers of this world.

From my own life:
The glow from being newly engaged drew out many sarcastic comments on marriage and married life from others. The glow from pregnancy drew out horrible rants from mothers and their terrifying birthing and pregnancy stories. The glow from being close to the due date drew out awful concerns of my excitement - 'For don't you know that this is the easy part? You should keep that thing in there as long as you can! Sleepless nights, blowouts, sore body parts, depression ... JUST YOU WAIT!!!!' The glow from this new bundle drew out the even more awful news that diapers will get much much worse, screams from teething will make you go insane. Baby will get into everything once they're mobile don't you know, they destroy everything including your married relationship! The glow from dreaming of them as they get older, their grade school years, and yes even those tender wonders on their teenage struggles and how I'll help them through... drew out the CRASH AND BURN awful-hood warnings of your children getting older and even more horrid.

I really feel like the "Just you wait" phrase is secretly a wishful curse of agony upon your future household. Is there any kind of benefit that these mentions are supposed to have? What did people want me to say in these situations? - "You're right! I'll back out now! Thank you kindly for sharing your great wisdom o wise elder."

News flash (that's right that cliche just happened) I'm not you, my spouse is not your spouse, our love story is not your love story, my pregnancy and child birth is not going to be yours, and I therefore most certainly won't have the children you have nor mother them just like you. Your "Just you wait" threats haven't held so far and I don't see them ever holding in the future. Sure, there may be some truth to what you're saying, BUT your attitude in which you describe these events is not true to my situation.

Yet still... there was a most courageous minority who dared stand alone and gave me such humble words of  alleviation and pure glee for what lye ahead that it tugged at my heart ever-so truthfully. The miracle of love that enfolds you with the start of an embark like marriage and child-rearing is something that the just-you-wait's have yet to understand.

My marriage and motherhood have not come without slivers, scars, bumps and bruises, yet how gloriously beneficial, beautiful, magical and miraculous this ride has been so far.

I've never fought, yelled, kissed, or laughed harder nor thought, smiled, stepped, or dreamed bigger than I have with this man.

I've never lost more sleep, appetite, time, lunch, or brains nor gained more knowledge, insight, kindness, worry, love, nobility, courage, strength, endurance, compassion, joy, charity, or gratitude due to this girl.

To my past self thwarted with the cursings of people's "Just you wait's" I say:

"Just you wait - It's about to get even better. Though, I know you already knew that anyways so I'll just leave you to it. P.S. you're very pretty ;) "

Heaven's slice is seeing the beauty in each phase of life - ours and our children's.


The Spencers said...

Julie that was an awesome post. I loved it. I agree with you %100. I still get the "just you wait" when people find out I have triplets. It drives me crazy. I love my kids and hubby to death. I wouldn't trade any of my experiences for anything. Thanks for your post. You are an awesome mom and wife!

Julie J said...

Thanks tons! Glad to know the one's that really get it ;) YOU are an awesome mommy and wife!!

Cassy Hansen said...

Thanks for putting this in words. I feel the same way. Each stage is wonderful and we get to learn more and more each time. I say enjoy every moment because the time slips away so fast and they really change and grow up and we can just be there by there sides to enjoy this wonderful journey we call life.

Julie J said...

Sorry Cassy! never saw your comment until today, Wise words for sure!! Loves it :)