Thursday, September 3, 2015

Why you should date plans, but NOT marry them

You don't know what specific trial or adventure is coming your way that will change your plans, and I feel that our hearts can handle breakups so much better than divorces. God is in charge and we simply are not.

I've always found it funny how some people plan the big life experiences right down to the month, like marriage and pregnancy. Other than the mandatory high school year book "future plans" frivolous blurb I wrote at 18, I've never really voiced a stone set plan to my life.  I guess I've always had a sense of the truth that I have no idea what will be sent my way or when it will be sent. It's not to say I haven't imagined in great detail different ways my life would or will go, but I've never committed my heart to them. I think it's imperative that we learn to protect our heart from plans. Plans change, they always have and always will. I don't think anyone can honestly look back on their life thus far and say, "Yep, exactly how I planned it." You know why? We live in a world ever changing, with people and choices and things creating an unstable whirlwind of an environment. Not to mention a Heavenly Father with a perfect eternal perspective on us that we have yet to master for ourselves.

Basically, you marry and commit to a person and then spend your lives courting plans together. Sometimes you get serious with plans going on multiple intentional dates devoting lots and lots of time together. Sometimes they're just flings, a one time deal. Sometimes you get to continue dating them through out your life. Sometimes they dump you out of no where. Sometimes you've got to break up with them, declaring we are never ever getting back together. And sometimes you can't help starting to fall head over heels, but still - never ever should you marry them, like ever. (I heart T. Swift a little)

It's not to say that it doesn't hurt to say goodbye to a plan, especially if it's a passion you have, but so long as you don't commit yourself to marrying that plan the sting of the breakup is far less damaging than a shattering fracture that is divorce. Fields burn up, houses flood, employers downsize, accidents can lead to physical dismemberment, illnesses spread... plans change. The stability and happiness that plans try to chase will never come close to the actual fulfillment of happiness that happens when commitment is made to a person.

Heaven's slice is marrying a person, not a plan.

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